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Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these attractions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about whether the tourism business truly preserves or will affect the traditions if they are used to make money from tourist activities. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and elaborate on why I believe that the tourism industry brings a valuable contribution to conserve and develop a culture. On the one hand, some people might argue that tourism has an adverse effect on culture based on several reasons. Firstly, uncontrolled mass tourism would damage cultural heritage sites irreversibly. For instance, Hoi An has a massive influx of tourists annually and there have been cases of vandalizing ancient monuments that cause irreparable damage. Accompanied by many locals were forced to move from the town center to live in the outskirts. Secondly, tourism creates pollution and waste which deteriorates the local resources on which culture inextricably depends. Finally, cultural tourism often operated which affects a rise in the cost of living for local people. The price of goods, services, and housing may increase significantly. However there are those that believe to the contrary, a number of the community say that by traveling, the customs of different nations can be protected in terms of their moral values. It cannot be denied that the increase in visitor numbers would provide funds for restoration and protection efforts, including promoting cultural values, supporting local handicrafts, and creating sufficient incentives for local communities to support conservation and protection. Furthermore, the satisfactory governments' support and well-managed cultural tourism would encourage the revival of traditions and the restoration of heritage sites and monuments. In conclusion, there are reasonable arguments on both views, but I assert that tourism revenue is the essential income for preserving culture.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
business
truly
preserves or will affect the traditions if they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money from tourist activities. This essay will discuss both sides of the argument in detail and elaborate on why I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry brings a valuable contribution to conserve and develop a culture.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has an adverse effect on culture based on several reasons.
Firstly
, uncontrolled mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
would damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
heritage sites
irreversibly
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoi
Did you mean “and” or “any”?
An
has a massive influx of tourists
annually
and there have been cases of vandalizing ancient monuments that cause irreparable damage. Accompanied by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
were forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from the town center to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the outskirts.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates pollution and waste which deteriorates the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
resources on which culture
inextricably
depends.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
operated which affects a rise in the cost of living for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The price of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, services, and housing may increase
significantly
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there are those that
The usual collocation for “believe” is “in”, not “to”. Did you mean “believe in”?
believe to
the contrary, a number of the community say that by traveling, the customs of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations can
be protected
in terms of their moral values. It cannot
be denied
that

the increase in visitor numbers would provide funds for restoration and protection efforts, including promoting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values, supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
handicrafts, and creating sufficient incentives for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
communities to support conservation and protection.
Furthermore
, the satisfactory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
' support and well-managed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
would encourage the revival of traditions and the restoration of heritage sites and monuments.

In conclusion
, there are reasonable arguments on both views,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
revenue is the essential income for preserving culture.
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IELTS essay Some people think that cultural traditions may be destroyed when they are used as money-making attractions aimed at tourists. Others, however, believe that it is the only way to save these attractions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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