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the movement of people from the countryside

the movement of people from the countryside 867EB
Many developing country in the world today are facing the problem of people movement from countryside to cities in search of better employment opportunities and other reasons. This essay will shed light on the main cause of the situation and suggestpossible way to deal with certaion problems. There are many reasons that have led to this senerio. Firstly, with regard to countryside job opportunities are scared as compared to cities. In addition, majority of the factories and companies are situated in cities, so for better wages human beings tend to move in cities. Secondly, education level in developing countries are not so good. Moreover, for batter education nowadays millions of stuent migrated to developed nations. Thirdly, another problem in countryside is salary. Furthermore, highly masters student dose not get high salaries in these areas, so for this reason why number of people moved to cities. Lastly, hospitel and other medical emergences are not available in countryside. So, these is main prominent reason why old people live in cities. For example, it can be seen by the number of growing people, who migrated to cities for healty and wealthy lifestyle as compared to live in countryside. Taking into consideration all the causes, there are number of solutions regard to this senerio. Firstly, multinational companies have set up their branch in poor ares. By doing this, employment may increase in developing areas. Secondly, If government and big organization have established factories 50 years ago, employment would have ameliorated a lot. Moreover, developed country ought to help poor nation to built thir economy. Thirdly, government should renovate existing infrastructure such roads, hospitals and educational institute. In short, these are some possible solution to this issue. To conclude, this is crystal clear that job opportunities and education is main two reasons why people move to cities. I personally believe that, if proper steps are implemented, we will be tackel to solve this problem in easy way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
in the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are facing the problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
movement from
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countryside
to
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cities
in search of better employment opportunities and other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. This essay will shed light on the main cause of the situation and
Possible spelling mistake found.
suggestpossible
way to deal with
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certaion
problems.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
that have led to this
Possible spelling mistake found.
senerio
.
Firstly
, with regard to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
job opportunities
are scared
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
In addition
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are situated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for better wages human beings tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Secondly
, education level in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
Moreover
, for batter education nowadays millions of
Possible spelling mistake found.
stuent
migrated to developed nations.
Thirdly
, another problem in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is salary.
Furthermore
,
highly
masters student dose not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high salaries in these areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
for this
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reason
why number of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Lastly
,
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hospitel
and other medical
Possible spelling mistake found.
emergences
are not available in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
The verb 'is' is singular. Did you mean: "This is" or "these am", "these are", "these aren"?
these is
main prominent
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reason
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
For example
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the number of growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who migrated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
healty
and wealthy lifestyle as compared to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in countryside.

Taking into consideration all the causes, there are number of solutions regard to this
Possible spelling mistake found.
senerio
.
Firstly
, multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have set up their branch in poor ares. By doing this, employment may increase in developing areas.
Secondly
, If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
organization have established factories 50 years ago, employment would have ameliorated a lot.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
poor nation to built
Possible spelling mistake found.
thir
economy.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should renovate existing infrastructure such roads, hospitals and educational institute. In short, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solution to this issue.

To conclude
, this is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that job opportunities and education is main two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. I
personally
believe that, if proper steps
are implemented
, we will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
tackel
to solve this problem in easy way.
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IELTS essay the movement of people from the countryside

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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