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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees. 


The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees. 2rVwo
Nowadays, companies spend money to enhance their profit and improve their reputation in different ways. The controversial question arise here is whether spending money to improve the work skills of employees is more important or spending money to improve their mental and social skills. I personally contend that the former is the most important and beneficial investment for a company. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoint through two noticeable reasons. My primary reason for believing that a company should invest more money to improve the work skills of its employees is that the more skills the employee obtain the more profit for the company could be attained. Also, as a lot of marketing specialists would confirm, the profit of hiring only two expert employees with excellent work skills equals hiring for example ten average employees and the first one is an inevitable better financial decision for a company. The other equally important reason is that, by improving work skills and expertise of the employees in their jobs, the office hour for employees can be reduced and they can have more free time. Therefore employees can spend more time for themselves and their families. I can quote from my psychologist that spending an adequate amount of time for yourself in a day to do what makes you happy and joyful is as important as a good sleep at night because of the serotonin hormone, which is a hormone that stabilized our mood, that is released from being happy. So clearly improving the work skills and mental health can be very profitable for both company and employees. In conclusion, I should state that and investment in improving the work skills of the employees should be the most important concern of the company along with other company expenses. In addition, besides those two reasons I elaborated above, I also should mention that the company should spend money to make a happy and healthy workplace for their employees as well because a healthy and warm workplace is a very important reason for employees to their best at their jobs and be passionate about it.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to enhance their profit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their reputation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. The controversial question arise here is whether spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
or spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
their mental and social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. I
personally
contend that the former is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and beneficial investment for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on my viewpoint through two noticeable reasons.

My primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for believing that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
is that the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
obtain the more profit for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
could
be attained
.
Also
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
marketing specialists would confirm, the profit of hiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two expert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
with excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
equals hiring
for example
ten average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
and the
first
one is an inevitable better financial decision for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

The other
equally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that, by improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and expertise of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in their jobs, the office hour for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
reduced and
they can have more free time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can spend more time for themselves and their families. I can quote from my psychologist that spending an adequate amount of time for yourself in a day to do what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
you happy and joyful is as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sleep at night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the serotonin hormone, which is a hormone that stabilized our mood, that
is released
from being happy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
clearly
improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and mental health can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profitable for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and employees.

In conclusion
, I should state that and investment in improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
should be the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
concern of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
along with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
expenses.
In addition
,
besides
those two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
I elaborated above, I
also
should mention that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a happy and healthy workplace for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a healthy and warm workplace is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to their best at their jobs and be passionate about it.
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IELTS essay The most important investment for a company is to spend money to improve the work skills of its employees.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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