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“The most important factor you should consider when choosing a job is the salary.”

“The most important factor you should consider when choosing a job is the salary. ” eRXE7
The salary is regarded as one of the most important factors while making a choice between jobs. Salary is the real outcome of the job performed and hence it becomes an important part in job selection. However, I completely disagree that salary is the most important part of choosing a job. First of all, money is not the most important concern for someone to choose a job and there are other important considerations to start and continue a job. For example, someone needs much time for their family than money. Other important aspects like the job security, career prospect (triển vọng), work environment, relationship with the colleagues and bosses are all important to choose a job. Furthermore, many people’s feelings of job satisfaction come from their professional achievements, the skills they learn, and the position they reach rather than the money they earn. Some people choose a career because they want to help others and contribute something positive to society. For instance, many famous actors, writers and scientists who have already amassed (tích lũy) a great fortune would have stopped working if the purpose of working would have been the money. In conclusion, I don’t believe that earning money is the main features to take into consideration while choosing a career. Job satisfaction should be the first factor to consider while selecting an occupation, without it, we will not happy with our roles and we can’t grow up with our career path.
The salary
is regarded
as one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factors while making a choice between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Salary is the real outcome of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
performed and
hence
it becomes an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
selection.
However
, I completely disagree that salary is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
part of choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
concern for someone to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and there are other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
considerations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and continue a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For example
, someone needs much time for their family than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
aspects like the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
prospect (
Possible spelling mistake found.
triển
Possible spelling mistake found.
vọng
), work environment, relationship with the colleagues and bosses are all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s feelings of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from their professional achievements, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
they learn, and the position they reach
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they earn.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others and contribute something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
to society.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
actors, writers and scientists who have already amassed (
Possible spelling mistake found.
tích
Possible spelling mistake found.
lũy
) a great fortune would have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
working if the purpose of working
Did you mean "had been"?
would have been
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In conclusion
, I don’t believe that earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the main features to take into consideration while choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
satisfaction should be the
first
factor to consider while selecting an occupation, without it, we
It seems that a verb or adverb has been misspelled or is missing here.
will not happy
with our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
roles and
we can’t grow up with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path.
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IELTS essay “The most important factor you should consider when choosing a job is the salary. ”

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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