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ploblems and solutions affect animals

ploblems and solutions affect animals KWMl1
Nowadays, the number of species of animals in the world starts to decrease extremely. Although humanity is aware about the treatment of their extinction, the problems continue to be worse. The reasons and the solutions will be discussed in this essay. Significant factor to consider is that people are the cause of the destruction of the environment where the beasts live. For example, the large quantity of individuals needs more food, as a result, agriculture grows and occupies territories which are cleared to make way for crops. Great amounts of ground are also cleaned for urban expansion as population increases. Hence, the habitat of the birds and other beings is destroyed. Moreover, farmers use pesticides to spray crops for protection from insects. Thus, animals get poisoned by eating them. Industrial wastes pollute the atmosphere and water that cause hazards for natural habitats. Finally, demand of exclusive entertainment or luxury items lead to hunting of unique species. Despite public awareness of how to protect the environment, the first priority should be using the media to educate what can happen with humanity without creatures.
Nowadays, the number of species of animals in the world
starts
to decrease
extremely
. Although humanity is aware about the treatment of their extinction, the problems continue to be worse. The reasons and the solutions will
be discussed
in this essay.

Significant factor to consider is that
people
are the cause of the destruction of the environment where the beasts
live
.
For example
, the large quantity of individuals needs more food,
as a result
, agriculture grows and occupies territories which
are cleared
to
make
way for crops. Great amounts of ground are
also
cleaned for urban expansion as population increases.
Hence
, the habitat of the birds and other beings is
destroyed
.
Moreover
, farmers
use
pesticides to spray crops for protection from insects.
Thus
, animals
get
poisoned by eating them. Industrial wastes pollute the atmosphere and water that cause hazards for natural habitats.
Finally
, demand of exclusive entertainment or luxury items lead to hunting of unique species.

Despite public awareness of how to protect the environment, the
first
priority should be using the media to educate what can happen with humanity without creatures.
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IELTS essay ploblems and solutions affect animals

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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