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the middle of the 20th century, communication and information flow has undergone tremendous changes. The challenges of modern communication channels and media have affected our lives in many ways.

the middle of the 20th century, communication and information flow has undergone tremendous changes. The challenges of modern communication channels and media have affected our lives in many ways. JqrRj
It is argued that since the middle of the 20th century, communication and information flow has undergone tremendous changes. The challenges of modern communication channels and media have affected our lives in many ways. I will substation in my opinion with valid arguments in this essay. First of all, the middle of the 20th century. Where we were able to use only telephone, telegraph, radio, typewriter, and newspapers, some rich people had a computer as well. Those days were very hard to be in touch with another side of the world and everything was much harder compare to nowadays. However, at present, the communication and information flow is so much different than in the middle of the 20th century. The majority of people own their mobile phone which has so much improved since then. Almost every family has at least one computer or laptop at home including the internet. For instance, now I’m doing a class in the ZOOM communication system with you from Sri Lanka to the United Kingdom. However, technology has had a huge impact on our entire daily lives, from social media to work, we're looking at the areas that have been impacted the most. Technology affects almost every aspect of 21st-century life, from efficiency and traffic safety, foods, healthcare access, socialization, and productivity. And lot information which is shared with the public could affect many people live as some of the information is not great and some people could take that information in the wrong way. For example, nowadays this advances system helping frauds to steal people's personal data such as bank details. In my conclusion, I believed that modern Communication and information have both advantages and disadvantages, even when it uses the technology in an effective and clear manner. Best side, every news, and any communication are shared so quickly with every one and this life is so much easier now compared to the back in a time. Hence we need to be more careful when we are using some modern technologies.
It
is argued
that since the middle of the 20th century,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
flow has undergone tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
. The challenges of modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
channels and media have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. I
The word 'substation' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
will substation
in my opinion with valid arguments in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the middle of the 20th century. Where we were able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
telephone, telegraph, radio, typewriter, and newspapers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had a computer
as well
. Those days were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to be in touch with another side of the world and everything was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
harder compare to nowadays.
However
, at present, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
flow is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
in the middle of the 20th century. The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
their mobile phone which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
since then. Almost every family has at least one computer or laptop at home including the internet.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I’m doing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
in the ZOOM
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
system with you from Sri Lanka to the United Kingdom.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has had a huge impact on our entire daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, from social media to work, we're looking at the areas that have
been impacted
the most.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
affects almost every aspect of 21st-century life, from efficiency and traffic safety, foods, healthcare access, socialization, and productivity. And lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which
is shared
with the public could affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is not great and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could take that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.
For example
, nowadays this advances system helping frauds to steal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's personal data such as bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

In my conclusion, I believed that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Communication
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
have both advantages and disadvantages, even when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in an effective and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
manner.
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Best".
Best
side, every news, and any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
are shared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
quickly
with every one and this life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
compared to the back in a time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
we need to be more careful when we are using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
.
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IELTS essay the middle of the 20th century, communication and information flow has undergone tremendous changes. The challenges of modern communication channels and media have affected our lives in many ways.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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