Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

government thinking money is everything . is it right or wtong?

government thinking money is everything. is it right or wtong? Q5X93
A number of governing bodies support the thought that developing a nation in monetary terms is the most important task, whereas there are a few others who believe progress in other sectors is equally significant. No nation is going to be at the top of it's game, if not for it's financial sturdiness. With the growing population, and the heavy expectations on the ruling government, it will not be an exaggeration to say finance is the only solution for all issues. At the same time, can dollars make all problems disappear? That would be a strong no, as there are numerous other aspects to consider, for instance, education and physical quality of life. In my opinion, money is not everything and all of the nations should in fact focus upon the well being of its population in all possible dimensions and not be biased towards a single thing. Gone are those days, when humans pay heed only to their family and have no clue about what is happening at the higher levels of governance. In the modern era, with the development of mass media every being knows his/her rights and are courageous enough to demand for it. For instance, when my grandfather was young, they did not have proper road facilities or health care and they turned a blind eye towards it and left it to fate, however that would not be the case now, people know their needs and are not afraid to go after the government. For this reason, along with the booming population, any nation has to focus on the economical aspect to satisy all of it's people's need. Although, some desires are met, in spite of a strong economy, not all needs can be fulfilled as human beings are not just bills. There are a plethora of things like education, decrease in crime rates, female foeticides and gender inequality. It is high time, higher authorities, realise there are lot more issues to be addressed and worked upon to call themselves successful. In conclusion, a country may be sturdy like a board in terms of money, but no nation is going to survive with just that. There is a lot more to what makes a country's foundation stronger and progressive, the ruling governance has to keep an eye on that.
A number of governing bodies support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that developing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
in monetary terms is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
task, whereas there are a few others who believe progress in other sectors is
equally
significant.

No
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is going to be at the top of it's game, if not for
Did you mean "its financial sturdiness"?
it's financial sturdiness
. With the growing population, and the heavy expectations on the ruling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
, it will not be an exaggeration to say finance is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
solution for all issues.

At the same time, can dollars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
all problems disappear? That would be a strong no, as there are numerous other aspects to consider,
for instance
, education and physical quality of life.

In my opinion, money is not everything and
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should in fact focus upon the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of its population in all possible dimensions and not
be biased
towards a single thing.

Gone
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
those days, when humans pay heed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to their family and have no clue about what is happening at the higher levels of governance. In the modern era, with the development of mass media every being knows his/her rights and are courageous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to demand for it.

For instance
, when my grandfather was young, they did not have proper road facilities or health
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
care and
they turned a blind eye towards it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
it to fate,
however
that would not be the case
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
know their needs and are not afraid to go after the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
For this reason
, along with the booming population, any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
focus on the economical aspect to
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisy
all of it's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's need.

Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
desires
are met
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
a strong economy, not all needs can
be fulfilled
as human beings are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
bills. There are a plethora of things like education, decrease in crime rates, female
Possible spelling mistake found.
foeticides
and gender inequality. It is high time, higher authorities,
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
there are lot more issues to
be addressed
and worked upon to call themselves successful.

In conclusion
, a country may be sturdy like a board in terms of money,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is going to survive with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
that.

There is a lot more to what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a country's foundation stronger and progressive, the ruling governance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on that.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay government thinking money is everything. is it right or wtong?

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Is sports and physical work compulsory in school?
    Exercise is one of the best method to maintain the healthy lifestyle moreover a cheap and easy way. Workout helps not only adults but also all the age groups including children and young people's. So, physical activities and sports should be practiced by every kids in the school with out any excepti...
  • 6band
    the perfect way for the government to improve the environment
    If you ask people in my country about the perfect way for the government to improve the environment, they would give different answers. Some might say that the best way is to reduce the construction of new factories; some others might opt for building more green areas such as park. As for me, I tend...
  • 5band
    Line chart showing trends in age and type
    The given line charts show the urban and rural population growth and trends as per age groups plotted against a timeline from 1950 to 2040. The horizontal axis is divided into increments of 10 years and the vertical axis measures population in millions. In the urban and rural population chart, the ...
  • 6band
    Traditional food in my country
    Well first of all I must say that this topic really interests me. Being a local food reviewer, I have fallen madly in love with Hanoi’s cuisine for its huge variety of divine dishes. Among these gems, I think it is absolutely impossible not to mention Phở, which is also the dish that I am bringing u...
  • 6band
    Articially intelligent robots will replace human work force. discuss both sides
    A few people believe artificially intelligent robots to be a substitute for all human jobs in the coming days. While it may be the case for repetitive jobs, specialised vocations would still be performed by a person as opposed to a machine. This essay will discuss the reasons why only a few specific...
  • 5.5band
    Life was simpler without so much of technology.
    As Abraham Lincoln says“In the end it’s not the year in your life that count. It’s life in your years”. Clearly indicates one must enjoy each and every moment of life. People are facilitating themselves by making new advancements in technology. Technology has indeed an ever lasting affects in our li...