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The mian causes of endangered species

The mian causes of endangered species oxQdg
Nowadays, there are sixteen thousand and five hundred species are endangered, endangered species is one that is at a high risk of becoming extinct. Belonging to that a lot of animals are going to die each single day, so why are animals going to die? Firstly, sometimes this is because of natural causes of climate changes, the climate is going to get hotter and hotter each day. After all the reason make the climate change is because of human activity. Today, many people hunt the animals unlawfully(illegally), they hunt the rhinos horns, ivories and many others, they hunt them to sell and take money. They think that the rhino horns and ivories can cure all diseases. We build more and more building in the city and its make the environment more polluted. (131 words)
Nowadays, there are sixteen thousand and five hundred species
are endangered
, endangered species is one
that is
at a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of becoming extinct. Belonging to that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
animals are going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
each single day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
why are animals going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
?
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of natural causes of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, the climate is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hotter and hotter each day.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
all the reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of human activity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hunt the animals
unlawfully
(
illegally
), they hunt the rhinos horns, ivories and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others, they hunt them to sell and take money. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the rhino horns and ivories can cure all diseases. We build more and more building in the city and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the environment more polluted. (131 words)
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IELTS essay The mian causes of endangered species

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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