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compare the influence of family and peer on teenager

compare the influence of family and peer on teenager XlY1q
The adolescent period, the period from 13 to 19 years old, is a period when children experience many physical and psychological changes, especially psychological ones. Because this is the age when they are growing up, they begin to have an initial awareness of life, so character education for children is extremely important. At this stage, children will be affected by many surrounding factors to create their own characteristics. And the influence of parents and friends contributes mainly to the development of children. The influence of family and friends is different on children's behavior and academic performance.
The adolescent period, the period from 13 to 19 years
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old
, is a period when
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children
experience
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many
physical and psychological
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changes
,
especially
psychological ones.
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Because
this is the age when they are growing up, they
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begin
to have an initial awareness of life,
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so
character education for
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children
is
extremely
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important
. At this stage,
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children
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
surrounding factors to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
characteristics. And the influence of parents and friends contributes
mainly
to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The influence of family and friends is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
on children's behavior and academic performance.
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IELTS essay compare the influence of family and peer on teenager

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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