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The media should include stories which report good news do you agree or disagree, v.1

The media should include stories which report good news , v. 1
It is now not uncommon to see negative news hit the headlines and appear frequently in the mass media. For this reason, many people believe that media positivity should be encouraged and I do agree with this idea for two main reasons. First, audiences are increasingly bombarded with negative stories and therefore, good news should be reported more often to balance out. In fact, journalism’s commitment to being the society’s watchdog is understandable, but excessive negativity in the news can be harmful. For instance, after a tragic plane crash in Malaysia was broadcast, news agencies the world over started to report similar accidents during the next months. This created collective fear for traveling by air, which consequently hurt the aviation industry despite the fact that air transport is still the safest option, with incident rates far lower than those for road and rail transport. In this way, an excessive amount of bad news caused distorted views and this is why more good news is worth reporting. Secondly, happiness is highly contagious, hence the need for positive media coverage. Good news can inspire readers or viewers to take action, which can benefit themselves and even society as a whole. The success of Flappy Bird, a mobile game created by Dong Nguyen that caused a global sensation in 2013, has been an encouraging story. Thousands of Vietnamese app developers have subsequently tried to start their own business in order to follow in Dong Nguyen’s footsteps. Although very few of them can achieve similar success, entrepreneurship is promoted, which comes as good news for both developers themselves and the country’s economy. In conclusion, my belief is that news agencies should dedicate more to positive news because it can create a healthy journalism balance and also spread positivity.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
not uncommon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
hit the headlines and appear
frequently
in the mass media.
For this reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that media positivity should
be encouraged
and I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
for two main reasons.

First
, audiences are
increasingly
bombarded with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
stories and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
should
be reported
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
to balance out. In fact, journalism’s commitment to being the society’s watchdog is understandable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
excessive negativity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can be harmful.
For instance
, after a tragic
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
crash in Malaysia was broadcast,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
agencies the world over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to report similar accidents during the
next
months. This created collective fear for traveling by air, which
consequently
hurt the aviation industry despite the fact that air transport is
still
the safest option, with incident rates far lower than those for road and rail transport. In this way, an excessive amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
caused distorted views and this is why more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is worth reporting.

Secondly
, happiness is
highly
contagious,
hence
the need for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
media coverage.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can inspire readers or viewers to take action, which can benefit themselves and even society as a whole. The success of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Flappy
Bird, a mobile game created by Dong Nguyen that caused a global sensation in 2013, has been an encouraging story. Thousands of Vietnamese app developers have
subsequently
tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business in order to follow in Dong Nguyen’s footsteps. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few of them can achieve similar success, entrepreneurship
is promoted
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for both developers themselves and the country’s economy.

In conclusion
, my belief is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
agencies should dedicate more to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can create a healthy journalism balance and
also
spread positivity.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay The media should include stories which report good news , v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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