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The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing? v.2

The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing? v. 2
In recent times, more people are interested in following famous and rich celebrities. Nowadays, all media like newspapers and magazines are writing more on the well-established people with common backgrounds. Increasing people's interest in the lives of accomplished people and competition to survive in media world is the main reason behind this trend. In my opinion, following successful people and reading about them is definitely a good thing as it motivates others to follow and achieve their dreams. To begin with, first and foremost reason is due to the introduction of different online mediums like social media site, which have given access to common people to follow the celebrities and successful people. In other words, people can connect with them directly, which was never the case in earlier times. In addition, these celebrities share their life stories and experiences online which common people can relate to. Another reason is that people have been always attracted to the glamour. That is to say, they like pomp and show and following and reading about celebrities fulfils their desires and makes them relaxed. For example, In India people are always following Ambani family and always interested in their lives, because they feel attached to this family. Finally, media houses nowadays have to survive in tough market conditions, and will publish stuff which is liked by their readers. However, in my perspective, there are arguments to support that following famous people is completely acceptable. Firstly, regularly reading about their life events keep the people connected and related. In other words, people follow them religiously. As a result, celebrities and famous people can become role model for them and government can get their help in implementing various programs for betterment of society. To illustrate, Prime Minister of India requested famous movie actors and celebrities to request their fans and followers to take part in Cleanliness Drive called “Swachh Bharat Abhiaan”. This resulted in common people coming together for the cause. It was a successful event for the country. Secondly, connecting directly with their role model can help people in taking learnings from their experiences and advices. To put it in another way, common man will be motivated to achieve goals after reading experiences of successful people. Thus, it is good thing to follow and know well about the successful people. In conclusion, glamour and paparazzi are the major reasons people are interested. It is a good to follow role model as it not only helps government to achieve individuals to achieve goals and but also, motivates individuals to achieve life goals. Therefore, in my view, this trend is good for society as it helps both people and government bodies to achieve personal targets.
In recent times, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
. Nowadays, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like newspapers and magazines are writing more on the well-established
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
backgrounds. Increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interest in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of accomplished
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and competition to survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
world is the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind this trend. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
about them is definitely a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing as it motivates others to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their dreams.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
and foremost
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reason
is due to the introduction of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
online mediums like social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
site, which have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect with them
directly
, which was never the case in earlier times.
In addition
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
share their life stories and experiences online which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can relate to. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'have' and 'been'.
have been always
attracted to the glamour.
That is
to say, they like pomp and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulfils
their desires and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them relaxed.
For example
, In India
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ambani
family and always interested in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel attached to this family.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
survive in tough market conditions, and will publish stuff which
is liked
by their readers.

However
, in my perspective, there are arguments to support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
completely acceptable.
Firstly
,
regularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
about their life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
connected and related.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
them
religiously
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become role model for them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in implementing various programs for betterment of society. To illustrate, Prime Minister of India requested
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
famous
movie actors and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
to request their fans and followers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in Cleanliness Drive called “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Swachh
Bharat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Abhiaan
”. This resulted in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
coming together for the cause. It was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
for the country.
Secondly
, connecting
directly
with their role model can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in taking learnings from their experiences and advices. To put it in another way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
will
be motivated
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
goals after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
experiences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
thing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
and know well about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, glamour and paparazzi are the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are interested
. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
follow
role model as it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
goals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, motivates individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
life goals.
Therefore
, in my view, this trend is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for society as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
personal targets.
24Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
75Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The media is increasing interest in famous people who have ordinary backgrounds. Why do you think people are interested in the lives of famous people? Do you think this is a good thing? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
448 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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