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The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. v.8

The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. v. 8
Mass media has been playing a significant role in our society in pursuit of shaping or distorting people' s ideas. It may be used for the purpose brainwashing people' s ideas in some drastic countries. However, as far as I am concerned, I would take a position in favour of positive aspects as to influence on people' s ideas. To commence with negative effects of it, first and foremost, it could be used for the purpose of maintenance of dictatorship. North Korea, for example, has been distorting mass media to brainwash the people' s thoughts with respect to superiority of communism. From this perspective, media have abilities which change the false to the truth. Another example is that some North Korean people still believe that South Korea is subject to the USA. This is the way they maintain the presidency by distorting and controlling people' s ideas. In an attempt to add up some more examples of good phases, people have a tendency that their thoughts are always the best. As regards to misunderstanding, mass media has an enormous sense of responsibility that they have to fix it. For example, let us say this is a bad thing and people are not aware of its detrimental effects at all. Mass media have a power that can fix people' s thoughts which are known as prejudice. In this manner, mass media can help people distinguish what justice is. To sum up, mass media is sometimes deemed to be way too influential. As far as I am concerned, I agree that mass media have huge impact on forming people' s thoughts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been playing a significant role in our society in pursuit of shaping or distorting
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. It may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the purpose brainwashing
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drastic countries.
However
, as far as I
am concerned
, I would take a position in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects as to influence on
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

To commence with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of it,
first
and foremost, it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the purpose of maintenance of dictatorship. North Korea, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, has been distorting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to brainwash the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
with respect to superiority of communism. From this perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have abilities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the false to the truth. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
North Korean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
believe that South Korea is subject to the USA. This is the way they maintain the presidency by distorting and controlling
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.

In an attempt to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
phases,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a tendency that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
are always the best. As regards to misunderstanding,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has an enormous sense of responsibility that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it.

For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us say this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware of its detrimental effects at all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have a power that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
which
are known
as prejudice. In this manner,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
distinguish what justice is.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
deemed to be way too influential. As far as I
am concerned
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have huge impact on forming
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thoughts
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The mass media, including television, radio and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. v. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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