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some people prefer to eat at food stands and resturants. Other people prefer to prepare andeat food at home. Which do you prefer? use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

some people prefer to eat at food stands and resturants. Other people prefer to prepare andeat food at home. Which do you prefer? use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Food stands and restaurants are attractive, serving delicious food but have we questioned ourselves? What happens to our body when we consume these foods? Fast foods from stalls and restaurants are mostly unhealthy leading to the most prevailing disease of Obesity leading to high pressure, diabetes, hypertension etc. Therefore I would prefer to cook food at home according to my needs. First of all, food from restaurants and stalls are unhealthy and not balanced. Researchers and doctors strictly prescribe obese people to avoid junk foods. So why should we wait for the doctor to prescribe that? A balanced diet is required for leading a healthy life and a balanced diet can be only availed by preparing and eating at home rather than opting restaurants. Preparing food at home will also allow a person to decide, according to him, what is required to meet his need and also maintain a balanced diet. Eating at home can also keep one away from various diseases such as high pressure, diabetes, obesity etc. and also food poisoning as a cause of unhygienic cooking methods in restaurants. Lastly, an important thing is that the foods at restaurants are relatively costlier than compare to food prepared at home. So if a person is on a tight budget, like me, should definitely consider preparing food at home. You will surely need to allot some time to prepare food but believe me it will be worth it. Anyway, every person now or then gets bored after continuously eating at restaurants and stalls. I have experienced this myself and a lot of my friend feel the same way. In a nutshell, there are many positive sides of cooking at home. Preparing food at home not only help one maintain a balanced diet leading to better health, better physic and lesser vulnerability to some serious diseases but also help save some amount money which can be invested on some other productive purposes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
stands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
are attractive, serving delicious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have we questioned ourselves? What happens to our body when we consume these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
from stalls and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
are
mostly
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
to the most prevailing disease of Obesity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
to high pressure, diabetes, hypertension etc.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I would prefer to cook
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home according to my needs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
and stalls are unhealthy and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
. Researchers and doctors
strictly
prescribe obese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to avoid junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
why should we wait for the doctor to prescribe that? A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet
is required
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
a healthy life and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
availed by preparing and eating at home
rather
than opting restaurants.

Preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a person to decide, according to him, what
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
his need and
also
maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet. Eating at home can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
one away from various diseases such as high pressure, diabetes, obesity etc. and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
poisoning as a cause of unhygienic cooking methods in restaurants.

Lastly
, an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
are
relatively
costlier than compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prepared at home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if a person is on a tight budget, like me, should definitely consider preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home. You will
surely
need to allot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
believe me it will be worth it. Anyway, every person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
or then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
bored after
continuously
eating at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restaurants
and stalls. I have experienced this myself and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
my friend feel the same way.

In a nutshell, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of cooking at home. Preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
at home not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one maintain a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
balanced
diet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leading
to better health, better physic and lesser vulnerability to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious diseases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount money which can
be invested
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other productive purposes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay some people prefer to eat at food stands and resturants. Other people prefer to prepare andeat food at home. Which do you prefer? use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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