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The manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

The manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane Q28a3
The illustration highlights the process by which sugar is produced from sugar cane. In general, what stands out from the figure is that there are seven stages in the sugar production from the enlarging sugar canes to the drying and cooling sugar. Looking at the details, the first stage is waiting for the sugar canes to grow up between 12 to 18 months. After that, when the canes are mature enough, they are harvested by hand or with the help of tractor. Following this, the collected sugar canes are crushed in a machine in order to obtain juice form the material. The process continues with the purifying the juice in limestone filler and then it has to become syrup form before separation. At this point, to obtain syrup form juice are heated and the vapour inside it separated by evaporating. In the next step, sugar crystals are separated from syrup. Finally, sugar crystals are dried and cooled then the product is ready.
The illustration highlights the process by which
sugar
is produced
from
sugar
cane.

In general
, what stands out from the figure is that there are seven stages in the
sugar
production from the enlarging
sugar
canes
to the drying and cooling sugar.

Looking at the
details
, the
first
stage is waiting for the
sugar
canes
to grow up
between 12 to 18
months. After that, when the
canes
are mature
enough
, they
are harvested
by hand or with the
help
of tractor. Following this, the collected
sugar
canes
are crushed
in a machine in order to obtain juice
form
the material.

The process continues with the purifying the juice in limestone filler and then it
has to
become syrup form
before
separation. At this point, to obtain syrup form juice
are heated
and the
vapour
inside it separated by evaporating. In the
next
step,
sugar
crystals
are separated
from syrup.
Finally
,
sugar
crystals
are dried
and cooled then the product is ready.
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IELTS essay The manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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