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The manner in which youngsters are permitted to behave is evolving. Any sort of conflict, from bullying to basic sports competition, is viewed as bad in certain cultures, In many other nations, overcoming hardship and struggle is seen as an important element of growing up.

The manner in which youngsters are permitted to behave is evolving. Any sort of conflict, from bullying to basic sports competition, is viewed as bad in certain cultures, In many other nations, overcoming hardship and struggle is seen as an important element of growing up. OwwwM
The manner in which youngsters are permitted to behave is evolving. Any sort of conflict, from bullying to basic sports competition, is viewed as bad in certain cultures, In many other nations, overcoming hardship and struggle is seen as an important element of growing up. And the second view is in my cup of tea. To begin, in certain cultures, any kind of conflict, from bullying to simple sports competition, is considered terrible. The reason why they think that is models and fights are very dangerous for students. Indeed, Fights and scuffles will affect physical as well as mental health and will cause a serious decline in children's academic performance. And school violence will make children become autistic, lose self-esteem and have a high risk of suicide. On the other hand, some nations see the presence of conflicts and struggles are essential for a child's development and I agree with this view. Firstly, I think that having conflicts and struggles will promote the child's development, helping children to become strong people in the future. I agree with this opinion not because I encourage conflicts, but instead need some measure to avoid unnecessary struggles. Secondly, try to imagine if children have an easy life as a child and have no prior experiences, when they grow up, they become "useless men, " so there must be struggles. In conclusion, while many people think struggles and conflicts are means to very bad to children I still strongly believe that children must have a boost to become a man but accompanied by some measures to prevent unnecessary forms of violence.
The manner in which youngsters
are permitted
to behave is evolving. Any sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
, from bullying to basic sports competition,
is viewed
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
in certain cultures, In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other nations, overcoming hardship and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggle
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
element of growing up. And the second view is in my cup of tea.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, in certain cultures, any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflict
, from bullying to simple sports competition,
is considered
terrible. The reason why they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
models and fights are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for students.
Indeed
, Fights and scuffles will affect physical
as well
as mental health and will cause a serious decline in children's academic performance. And school violence will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
autistic, lose self-esteem and have a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of suicide.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the presence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggles
are essential for a child's development and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.
Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggles
will promote the child's development, helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
strong
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the future. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measure to avoid unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggles
.
Secondly
, try to imagine if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have an easy life as a child and have no prior experiences, when they grow up, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
useless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be struggles.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
struggles
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conflicts
are means to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
I
still
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have a boost to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
accompanied by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
unnecessary forms of violence.
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IELTS essay The manner in which youngsters are permitted to behave is evolving. Any sort of conflict, from bullying to basic sports competition, is viewed as bad in certain cultures, In many other nations, overcoming hardship and struggle is seen as an important element of growing up.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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