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Many people are travelling around the world considerably more compared to the past due to cheap cost air travel. What are the disadvantages and advantages of this increasing trend?

Many people are travelling around the world considerably more compared to the past due to cheap cost air travel. What are the disadvantages and advantages of this increasing trend? R00Wk
In recent few years, the role of going on a journey in people`s lifestyle has been subject of many heated debates. It is believed that trips offer a great number of positive experience for humanity. But negatives should not be ignored. On the one hand, critics have a valid point when they say travelling has numerous benefits for people. To begin with, travel is one of the things that gives an opportunity to greatly broaden human`s horizon. Since people will see many different cultures and lifestyles, they realize that what was taught to them back home to be the right way to go is just one cultural footprint and can not be generalized at all. Another upside of travelling is that people might learn new languages during their journey. For instance, it is quite hard to motivate someone to learn foreign languages in local country. But it may become easier when there is language atmosphere during the trip. In this position a man has to learn at least a few words of the native language in order to make his life much easier due to nobody seems to understand what he wants to tell him. On the other hand, critics may be right, but we should not forget the negatives of this phenomenon. Firstly, it can be costly compared to stay at home. Even if we stay in quite cheap hostels and try to save money on food, we may still need some money to get around, to pay for flights and so on. In fact, in some countries air travel does not cost much. But in my region flights cost too much. For example, recently one of the my relatives has gone to Moscow by plane with a ten millions soums ticket. Undoubtly, with this money people from my country can live nearly six months in a considerably better life. Moreover, one of the bad sides of going on journey is being cause to spread some kinds of diseases. Take coronavirus, fore example. In conclusion, there are clearly advantages and disadvantages of travelling. Despite obvious negatives such as homesickness and exhausting. I personally believe that positives such as expanding knowledge and also world view outweigh any negatives.
In recent few years, the role of going on
The usual preposition for "a journey" with a named destination is "to". Did you mean "a trip to"?
a journey in
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
lifestyle has been subject of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
heated debates. It
is believed
that trips offer a great number of
Did you mean "positives"?
positive
experience for humanity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
negatives should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

On the one hand, critics have a valid point when they say travelling has numerous benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, travel is one of the things that gives an opportunity to
greatly
broaden
The character between 'human' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "human’s" (curly apostrophe) or "human's" (straight apostrophe).
human`s
horizon. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and lifestyles, they realize that what
was taught
to them back home to be the right way to go is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one cultural footprint and can not
be generalized
at all.

Another upside of travelling is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might learn new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
during their journey.
For instance
, it is quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to motivate someone to learn foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
in local country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it may become easier when there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
atmosphere during the trip. In this position a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
learn at least a few words of the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his life much easier due to nobody seems to understand what he wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
him.

On the other hand
, critics may be right,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we should not forget the negatives of this phenomenon.

Firstly
, it can be costly compared to stay at home. Even if we stay in quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
hostels and try to save money on food, we may
still
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
around, to pay for flights and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries air travel does not cost much.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in my region flights cost too much.
For example
, recently one of
A determiner cannot combine with a possessive pronoun. Did you mean simply "my relatives" or "the relatives"?
the my relatives
has gone to Moscow by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
with a ten millions
Possible spelling mistake found.
soums
ticket.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Undoubtly
, with this money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from my country can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
nearly
six months in a
considerably
better life.
Moreover
, one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides of going on journey is being cause to spread
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of diseases. Take coronavirus, fore example.

In conclusion
, there are
clearly
advantages and disadvantages of travelling. Despite obvious negatives such as homesickness and exhausting. I
personally
believe that positives such as expanding knowledge and
also
world view outweigh any negatives.
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IELTS essay Many people are travelling around the world considerably more compared to the past due to cheap cost air travel. What are the disadvantages and advantages of this increasing trend?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
368 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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