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The man expresses his opinion of the Student Association's recent purchase. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

The man expresses his opinion of the Student Association's recent purchase. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
It is thought by some that, tourism, which has become the primary income source for a lot of nations, can have significant adverse effects if it is improperly managed. This essay will argue that despite having negative effects on the environment and paving the way for illegal activities, tourism creates jobs locally and boosts the economy of countries, meaning that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Environmental pollution and criminal activities at tourist spots are the obvious disadvantages of tourism. When travellers visit tourist spots, such as the beach or the mountains, they usually throw away plastic bottles and other plastic wastes, which causes serious harm to the environment as well as the habitats living there. A recent report by Animal Planet shows that more than 100 dolphins died in the Maldives, a popular travel destination, because of over consumption of plastic. Moreover, an increase in illegal activities, such as robbery, rape, drug dealing, gambling and prostitution have been on a rise at the famous tourist destinations in recent years. For example, 5 reports on average are filed every day at the Goa police station by the tourists since Goa became a popular tourist spot 2 years ago. However, I believe that the advantages of tourism supersede the disadvantages. Firstly, it creates lots of local jobs which help to reduce unemployment. A number of businesses, such as hotels, restaurants, small shops, sports activities are created to satisfy the needs of the tourists and these businesses employ a lot of locals. For example, unemployment decreased by 25% in Phuket over the last ten years as hundreds of thousands of tourists visit Phuket each year. Secondly, tourism plays an important role in the overall economic development of a country. A lot of countries’ main source of foreign currency is the tourism industry, and this money is used in different sectors. A report by the World Bank shows that 30% of Thailand’s budget is based solely on the tourism sector. In conclusion, the creation of new employment and the economic growth of nations due to tourism far outweigh the drawbacks of environmental pollution and increased crimes.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, which has become the primary income source for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of nations, can have significant adverse effects if it is
improperly
managed. This essay will argue that despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the environment and paving the way for illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates jobs
locally
and boosts the economy of countries, meaning that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

Environmental pollution and criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots are the obvious disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. When
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots, such as the beach or the mountains, they
usually
throw away plastic bottles and other plastic wastes, which causes serious harm to the environment
as well
as the habitats living there. A recent report by Animal Planet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more than 100 dolphins
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
in the Maldives, a popular travel destination,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of over consumption of plastic.
Moreover
, an increase in illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, such as robbery, rape, drug dealing, gambling and prostitution have been on a rise at the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations in recent years.
For example
, 5 reports on average
are filed
every day at the Goa police station by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
since Goa became a popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spot 2 years ago.

However
, I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
supersede the disadvantages.
Firstly
, it creates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of local jobs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment. A number of businesses, such as hotels, restaurants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
shops, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are created
to satisfy the needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and these businesses employ a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of locals.
For example
, unemployment decreased by 25% in Phuket over the last ten years as hundreds of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visit Phuket each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
overall
economic development of a country. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of countries’ main source of foreign currency is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry, and this money is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors. A report by the World Bank
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that 30% of Thailand’s budget
is based
solely
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector.

In conclusion
, the creation of new employment and the economic growth of nations due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
far outweigh the drawbacks of environmental pollution and increased crimes.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion of the Student Association's recent purchase. State his opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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