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The majority of business owners are driven solely by the pursuit of wealth.

The majority of business owners are driven solely by the pursuit of wealth. ArYRn
An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether the majority of business owners are driven solely by gaining wealth. It may seem true that most business owners are driven only by the desire for money; however, as it is contemplated in depth, there appears to be too much absurdity to argue that the aforementioned statement is true. Although some people hold different perspectives and opinions, I personally oppose the idea that wealth is the only goal for the majority of business owners on account of two reasons: they give money away in the form of charitable donations and many business owners have a broader view of success than simple financial gain. To start with, it is fairly common for business owners to give large sums of money to charity. This generosity on the part of many business owners shows that they care about not only money but also the welfare of others. If they just wanted to make more and more money, they would keep it or invest all of their earnings in profitable enterprises. Take Bill Gates and Warren Buffet, for instance. Both these men have made enormous contributions to charity. In fact, Warren Buffet made the single biggest charitable donation in history. In addition, Bill Gates has given more than 28 billion dollars to his own charitable foundation, which works to reduce poverty and enhance health care worldwide. Furthermore, many business owners are driven by a desire to be successful in a more comprehensive way. Many successful business owners are more concerned with their reputation and public perception than with profits. A recent survey of one hundred executives revealed some interesting results. When asked why they went into business in the first place, 67 percent of those surveyed responded that they wanted to achieve wide-ranging success, not just make money. That is why many business owners regard their reputation among their peers in the industry as more important than profits. Moreover, creating a positive brand image in consumers’ minds comes before money making for most business owners. In conclusion, although whether the desire of wealth led the majority of business owners is open to interpretation, it seems reasonable to claim that business owners are not entirely motivated by the desire to become rich because of two reasons discussed in this essay.
An intriguing topic of discussion at hand is whether the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
are driven
solely
by gaining wealth. It may seem true that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
are driven
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
;
however
, as it
is contemplated
in depth, there appears to be too much absurdity to argue that the aforementioned statement is true. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives and opinions, I
personally
oppose the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that wealth is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
goal for the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
on account of two reasons: they give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
away in the form of charitable donations and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
have a broader view of success than simple financial gain.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is
fairly
common for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
to give large sums of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to charity. This generosity on the part of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that they care about not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the welfare of others. If they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
it or invest all of their earnings in profitable enterprises. Take Bill Gates and Warren Buffet,
for instance
. Both these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have made enormous contributions to charity. In fact, Warren Buffet made the single biggest charitable donation in history.
In addition
, Bill Gates has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
more than 28 billion dollars to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
charitable foundation, which works to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
poverty and enhance health care worldwide.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
are driven
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
to be successful in a more comprehensive way.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
are more concerned with their reputation and public perception than with profits. A recent survey of one hundred executives revealed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
interesting results. When asked why they went into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
in the
first
place, 67 percent of those surveyed responded that they wanted to achieve wide-ranging success, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
That is
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
regard their reputation among their peers in the industry as more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than profits.
Moreover
, creating a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
brand image in consumers’ minds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
making for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners.

In conclusion
, although whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
of wealth led the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
is open to interpretation, it seems reasonable to claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owners
are not
entirely
motivated by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
desire
to become rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons discussed in this essay.
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IELTS essay The majority of business owners are driven solely by the pursuit of wealth.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
384 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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