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While some people that children have to be send to school, there are many parents who think that home study is more advantageous. I am completely sure that school education has more advantages than home schooling.

While some people that children have to be send to school, there are many parents who think that home study is more advantageous. I am completely sure that school education has more advantages than home schooling. xxe9o
While some people that children have to be send to school, there are many parents who think that home study is more advantageous. I am completely sure that school education has more advantages than home schooling. To begin with, home education is cool for children who suffer from special diseases and they will have more attention, support, medical consulting, personal education program at home, rather than in school they will feel themselves not full-fledged. Furthermore, there are many families that live under poverty line and can not afford to send their children to school because of it is expensive to buy clothes, books, food and different stuff. For instance, in the southern regions of our country just below than 30% families study at home because of lack of finance. That’s why some families see more benefits in home schooling. However, this advantages will be overweighed by school education advantages. Firstly, in school student will be learned by many life lessons and be better in human being. For instance, student learning how to socialize, finding new friends and develop relationship, leadership skills. Secondly, school provides a lot of activities for students like olympiads, sport activities, teambuilding projects, stem, travelling and others. This activities will give a big spectre of experience and outlook to students for their future lives. Finally, in school you grow under the professional eye of a teacher. It is obvious that students are developing from all sides and without gaps. Consequently as a result, the student will be comprehensively(переводчик) developed. To conclude with, I strongly believe that school education has way more benefits than home education because, children will have many communication experience and will be comprehensively developed.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Consider using a past participle here: "sent".
send
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that home study is more advantageous. I am completely sure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has more advantages than
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is cool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who suffer from special
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
diseases and
they will have more attention, support, medical consulting, personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
program at home,
rather
than in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
they will feel themselves not full-fledged.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under poverty line and can not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it is expensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
clothes, books, food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
stuff.
For instance
, in the southern regions of our country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Use "(below)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
below
than 30% families study at home
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of finance. That’s why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
more benefits in
This word is normally spelled as one.
home schooling
.

However
, this advantages will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweighed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
advantages.
Firstly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will
be learned
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life lessons and be better in human being.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
learning how to socialize, finding new friends and develop relationship, leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
activities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
olympiads
, sport activities,
Possible spelling mistake found.
teambuilding
projects, stem, travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
activities will give a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake. 'spectre' is British English.
spectre
of experience and outlook to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Finally
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
you grow under the professional eye of a teacher. It is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are developing from all sides and without gaps.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
as a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will be
comprehensively
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
переводчик
) developed.

To conclude
with, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
has way more benefits than home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communication experience and will be
comprehensively
developed.
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IELTS essay While some people that children have to be send to school, there are many parents who think that home study is more advantageous. I am completely sure that school education has more advantages than home schooling.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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