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The main purpose of a country's education system is to prepare young people for particular types of work rather than to help them develop independent thinking individuals. What is your view?

The main purpose of a country's education system is to prepare young people for particular types of work rather than to help them develop independent thinking individuals. What is your view? gWN97
There exists a popular opinion that education system should prepare young people for practical types of work. Although I have some sympathy with this idea, I believe that it is still essential for employers to find independent-thinking workers. There are good arguments for people with strong opinions and developed personality to be demanded everywhere. To start with, students who only get practical skills at university are usually frame-minded, which makes them difficult to find a job in the modern competitive world. Being an independent-thinker means to be flexible in learning new skills and changing professions quickly. These people are usually creative and confident which is always attractive for the employers. Moreover, if the student choose he or her major when entering the university they will quickly become bored with doing practice in the only subject. To make youth real professionals, it is vital to make them interested in what they are doing and that is why some creativity needs to be included in the study process. To conclude, I truly believe that main aim of education is to build strong Independent-thinking adolescent, which means they will be able not only to be professionals in one field but also creative, flexible, confident leaders.
There exists a popular opinion that education system should prepare young
people
for practical types of work. Although I have
some
sympathy with this
idea
, I believe that it is
still
essential for employers to find independent-thinking workers. There are
good
arguments for
people
with strong opinions and developed personality to
be demanded
everywhere.

To
start
with, students who
only
get
practical
skills
at university are
usually
frame-minded, which
makes
them difficult to find a job in the modern competitive world. Being an independent-thinker means to be flexible in learning new
skills
and changing professions
quickly
. These
people
are
usually
creative and confident which is always attractive for the employers.

Moreover
, if the student choose he or her major when entering the university they will
quickly
become bored with doing practice in the
only
subject. To
make
youth real professionals, it is vital to
make
them interested in what they are doing and
that is
why
some
creativity needs to
be included
in the study process.

To conclude
, I
truly
believe that main aim of education is to build strong Independent-thinking adolescent, which means they will be able not
only
to be professionals in one field
but
also
creative, flexible, confident leaders.
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IELTS essay The main purpose of a country's education system is to prepare young people for particular types of work rather than to help them develop independent thinking individuals. What is your view?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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