Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some people believe that music can bring people together

some people believe that music can bring people together MrEnL
Music is everywhere nowadays, on social medias, television at the movie theatre. It is a part of our everyday life. Some believe it is a practical way of bringing people of different cultures and generations together. Is it really a great way to bring people together? Music is not always the best way to bring persons from different ages together as they probably don’t have the same music taste, for example older ones listening to classic compositors won’t understand the interest of the youth in Rap music. It may not be a good way to bring people from different cultures together as listening to music from another culture could be seen as cultural appropriation. But on the other hand, music can be an excellent way to help people accept each other and creating strong links between people from different places around the globe. For example, going to the church in the USA and listening to gospel as a Caucasian man is a great way to understand the happiness and the love shared by the Afro-American communities. Also discovering new kinds of music and sharing music tastes with other generations will surely create links between generations and bring people together. Also, nowadays people love to meet each other while going to festivals night clubs and concerts where music is an important part of the entertainment which help people to socialize while enjoying the same music. To sum up I am persuaded that music is one of the greatest ways to help everyone accept each other differences. It is a tool used by many to help people moving forward and bringing people from different worlds together.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
is everywhere nowadays, on social medias, television at the movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. It is a part of our everyday life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe it is a practical way of bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures and generations together. Is it
really
a great way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together?

Music is not always the best way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
persons from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
ages together as they
probably
don’t have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
taste,
for example
older ones listening to classic compositors won’t understand the interest of the youth in Rap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. It may not be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures together as listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
from another culture could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as cultural appropriation.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be an excellent way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accept each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and creating strong links between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
places around the globe.
For example
, going to the church in the USA and listening to gospel as a Caucasian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
is a great way to understand the happiness and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
shared by the Afro-American communities.
Also
discovering new kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
tastes with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
generations will
surely
create links between generations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
together.
Also
, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
while going to festivals night clubs and concerts where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the entertainment which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to socialize while enjoying the same music.

To sum up I
am persuaded
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is one of the greatest ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
everyone accept each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
differences. It is a tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving forward and bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
worlds together.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some people believe that music can bring people together

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    we can predict a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothing.
    Some people believe that we can predict a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothing. While I do admit that a person’s outward appearance tells a lot about them I do not completely agree with this view. It is possible to guess a person’s background and nature from their clothes (t...
  • 5.5band
    reflection peer evaluation
    Evaluation of Project Processes At the beginning, I felt that our group was not very compatible, though things have worked better than I thought. We primarily worked together on Team and we also had a group chat on Instagram which made it really simple for us to discuss and exchange information. All...
  • 6band
    Rating children in a proper way
    Learning to distinguish between right and wrong, at a younger age, is a necessity. It is claimed that punishment is the key to imbibe this virtue. Even though disciplining is necessary, being harsh with children, is not an apt course of action. Instead, the need to develop innovative parenting and t...
  • 5band
    how IT change the way people learn foreign languages
    Today, as the Internet becomes more accessible than ever before, more and more people use technology to learn languages, and this trend has a variety of advantages as follows. First, technology can help learners test their language skills. For example, when people start learning writing, technology ...
  • 5band
    Describe a place where you want to visit
    Well, today I would like to talk about foreign countries which I want visit. Actually, I want visit to every modern and historic places, however it is impossible thus I have plan to travel one very touristic country which is extremely famous with their climate. This country as named Switzerland. In...
  • 5band
    People these days tend to travel abroad for their holidays. Is it a positive or negative trend?
    It is obvious that there are some aspects of international travel which raise cause for concern. Although it offers one benefit, I believe it is a negative phenomenon. Admittedly, travelling overseas broadens people’s horizons greatly. Being able to visit a foreign country means that travelers can b...