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the main function of parents is to provide their children with the skills which are necessary for them to be good members

the main function of parents is to provide their children with the skills which are necessary for them to be good members OVq0p
Some have argued that the main function of parents is to provide their children with the skills which are necessary for them to be good members of the community. By contrast there are people who believe that educational institutions are places where each child must adopt basic principles of being an honorable member of society and parents are not responsible for this. On one hand, parents or caregivers are main people who are responsible for raising children. The burden of parenting falls on these family members, because they accompany their child throughout his life. In particular, it is a well-known fact that children usually copy all of the habits or demeanor of their parents. Considering this fact, parents or caregivers are the ones who are responsible for raising children and developing their life skills. For example, in the news there was one clear example which occurred in Australia. It was reported that one boy who was studying in the best school of this country was suspected of fraud. As it turned out later, he grew up in a difficult family [no personal pronouns]. That situation brings to light the issue that teachers alone are not responsible for children’s upbringing, children follow their parents’ footsteps and cope their behavioral patterns. On the other hand, students spend most of their time at school. Due to this fact, teachers must not only provide the knowledge to their students, but also teach them how to be successful members of the community. Regarding this, they coordinate the behavior of each student who is presented in the class. They also must regulate and control (unravel) conflict situations in the class and explain in time where the students are right and where they are not. For instance, if the teacher does not tell the student in time that a certain behavior is not acceptable in the society, then a certain type of behavior may develop that is not relevant (permissible / tolerable) among members of the community. In this particular scenario parents may not notice how a certain type of child's behavior among members of a society is formed since usually parents see their child only at home after work. Following this, at home a child can behave impeccably, but in society be ill-mannered, the role of teachers is to give children’s parents some feedback in case the spotted some deviant behavior. In conclusion, I do believe that when both attentive parents and competent teachers raise the child correctly, then the best result can be achieved in raising a worthy member of society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
have argued that the main function of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is to provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which are necessary for them to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community. By contrast there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that educational institutions are places where each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
adopt basic principles of being an honorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for this.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or caregivers are main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The burden of parenting falls on these family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they accompany their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
throughout his life.
In particular
,
it is a well-known fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
usually
copy
Consider using "all the".
all of the
habits or demeanor of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Considering this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or caregivers are the ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and developing their life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
For example
, in the news there was one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example which occurred in Australia. It
was reported
that one boy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was studying in the best school of this country
was suspected
of fraud. As it turned out later, he grew up in a difficult family [no personal pronouns]. That situation brings to light the issue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
alone are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsible
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
upbringing,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
follow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
footsteps and cope their behavioral patterns.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
spend most of their time at school. Due to this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide the knowledge to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach them how to be successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community. Regarding this, they coordinate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is presented
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
regulate and control (unravel) conflict situations in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are right and where they are not.
For instance
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
in time that a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
is not acceptable in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, then a certain type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
may develop
that is
not relevant (permissible / tolerable) among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of the community. In this particular scenario
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may not notice how a certain type of child's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is formed
since
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at home after work. Following this, at home a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can behave
impeccably
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
be ill-mannered, the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
is to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
feedback in case the spotted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deviant behavior.

In conclusion
, I do believe that when both attentive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and competent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
correctly
, then the best result can
be achieved
in raising a worthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
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IELTS essay the main function of parents is to provide their children with the skills which are necessary for them to be good members

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
425 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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