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the long period of working lead to a lack of sleep

the long period of working lead to a lack of sleep 2xGVx
In present-day society, the world is becoming increasingly stressful and unpeaceful whereas many people have stated that they are suffering from Insomnia. This essay will discuss how long working hours is the main reason why this is happening and put forward a solution for this issue. The cause behind the rising of the Insomnia among different categories of people lies with the fact that the demanding society has put more pressure on people. to illustrate, when someone goes to bed to have a rest, stressful ideas come out to his mind, due to this materialistic world, where he always thinks about how to ensure his decent job to obtain food for his family and pay for the rent. Nowadays, in comparing with previous eras, people are expected to work and produce more than their ancestors. A recent study from the university of New York shows that the work rate has been raising by 17% every decade, leading to the fact that we are living in inconvenient situation that will promote sleep difficulties between people. First of all, nobody would deny the fact that if governments establish new schedule with less working hours, people will have more leisure time and that is why the problem of Insomnia will be eliminated with efficiency. Moreover, having more free time will effectively be the key to motivate people for practicing their hobbies and expressing their feelings that is what make them produce more when working. for example, in 2020, Finland has added one day to the ordinary weekend, By having 3 days rest, the Global diversity production of the country has increased by 5%. to summarize, more leisure time often make more production
In present-day society, the world is becoming
increasingly
stressful and
unpeaceful
whereas
many
people
have stated that they are suffering from Insomnia. This essay will discuss how long working hours is the main reason why this is happening and put forward a solution for this issue.

The cause behind the rising of the Insomnia among
different
categories of
people
lies with the fact that the demanding society has put more pressure on
people
.
to
illustrate, when someone goes to bed to have a rest, stressful
ideas
come
out to his mind, due to this materialistic world, where he always
thinks
about how to ensure his decent job to obtain food for his family and pay for the rent. Nowadays, in comparing with previous eras,
people
are
expected
to work and produce more than their ancestors. A recent study from the university of New York
shows
that the work rate has been raising by 17% every decade, leading to the fact that we are living in inconvenient situation that will promote sleep difficulties between
people
.

First of all
, nobody would deny the fact that if
governments
establish new schedule with less working hours,
people
will have more leisure time and
that is
why the problem of Insomnia will
be eliminated
with efficiency.
Moreover
, having more free time will
effectively
be the key to motivate
people
for practicing their hobbies and expressing their feelings
that is
what
make
them produce more when working.
for
example, in 2020, Finland has
added
one day to the ordinary weekend, By having 3 days rest, the Global diversity production of the country has increased by 5%.
to
summarize, more leisure time
often
make
more
production
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IELTS essay the long period of working lead to a lack of sleep

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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