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Describing a historic person I admire

Describing a historic person I admire dpLYP
Albert Einstein was born in Ulm, in the Kingdom of Württemberg in the German Empire, on 14 March 1879 into a family of secular Ashkenazi Jews. He is generally considered the most influential physicist of the 20th century. Einstein is known for developing the theory of relativity, but he also made important contributions to the development of the theory of quantum mechanics. They both are the two pillars of modern physics. His mass–energy equivalence formula E=mc2, which arises from relativity theory, has been dubbed "the world's most famous equation”. His work is also known for its influence on the philosophy of science. He received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics "for his services to theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect". His intellectual achievements and originality resulted in "Einstein" becoming synonymous with "genius". Besides knowing him due to his many achievements, I did come across and read a biography of him from many sources which really intrigued me and contained a lot of information that made me admire him a lot. His childhood was not as carefree as I initially thought and I was totally impressed by his perseverance and  dedication to science despite having communication problems at a very young age. I admire how Albert Einstein lived and worked with passion and enthusiasm all his life, which, I feel is a shining example and a great inspiration for me to follow. Albert was hunted by the Nazi’s for most of his adult life, yet he never abandoned his love for science and kept working even when he was running to protect himself. So, in other words, he really inspired me to pursue my goals and dreams with all I that I have, despite any difficulties that I may come across along the way.
Albert Einstein
was born
in Ulm, in the Kingdom of
Württemberg
in the German Empire, on 14 March 1879 into a family of secular Ashkenazi Jews. He is
generally
considered the most influential physicist of the 20th century.

Einstein
is known
for developing the theory of relativity,
but
he
also
made
important
contributions to the development of the theory of quantum mechanics. They both are the two pillars of modern physics. His mass–energy equivalence formula E=mc2, which arises from relativity theory, has
been dubbed
"
the world's most
famous
equation”. His work is
also
known for its influence on the philosophy of science. He received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics
"
for his services to theoretical physics, and
especially
for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect
"
. His intellectual achievements and originality resulted in
"
Einstein
"
becoming synonymous with
"
genius
"
.

Besides
knowing him due to his
many
achievements, I did
come
across and read a biography of him from
many
sources which
really
 intrigued me and contained
a lot of
information that made me admire him a lot. His childhood was not as carefree as I
initially
thought and
I was
totally
impressed by his perseverance and
 
dedication to science despite having communication problems at a
very
young age.

I admire how Albert Einstein
lived
and worked with passion and enthusiasm all his life, which, I feel is a shining example and a great inspiration for me to follow. Albert
was hunted
 by the Nazi’s for most of his adult life,
yet
he never abandoned his
love
for science and
kept
working even when he was running to protect himself.

So
,
in other words
, he
really
inspired me to pursue my goals and dreams with all I that I have, despite any difficulties that I may
come
across along the way.
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IELTS essay Describing a historic person I admire

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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