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Some peole like to working by self and some like to do work as an employe what do you think which one is more important

Some peole like to working by self and some like to do work as an employe what do you think which one is more important BL21d
Nowadays, everyone want a job to fullfill their basic needs. Some people like to work for themselves or start their own business. However, others prefer to work for an employer. according to my point of viwe, i think both are good for an individual. To begin with, there are some relevant reasons why people like to set up their own business. Firstly, if they start their own work, they do not worry about having less salary. They also have new experience. They do not have any tension about leave. They freely go anywhere where they want. People also give much time to their family members. They do not have any worry about doing work under the pressure of manager. With the help of this, they can easily maintain their personal and proffesional life. As a reslut they do more hard work to grow up their business. So, they live happily while doing work. On the other hand, some people like to do work under others, because they like to learn more life experience. To explain it, people meet different people who come from different religion and cities. So, they exchange their work experience and ideas with each other. Apart from that, if person doing work with fully interest and energy they get promotion with good salary. They going out of city for work, where they get a chance to meet new citizens and enjoy their culture, food and enhance their knowledge. They enjoy every minute of their life. Individual achieve their goal's which they set up in their life. To conclude, working for themseleves and under someone else have their own importance both give us myraid of things to learn. Person happy while working if they satisfy with work and also maintain their business and family easily.
Nowadays, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
a job to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fullfill
their basic needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for themselves or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
However
, others prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for an employer.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
according
to my point of
Possible spelling mistake found.
viwe
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
both are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for an individual. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
relevant reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to set up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
Firstly
, if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, they do not worry about having less salary. They
also
have new experience. They do not have any tension about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
freely
go anywhere where they want.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
also
give much time to their family members. They do not have any worry about doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under the pressure of manager. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this, they can
easily
maintain their personal and
Possible spelling mistake found.
proffesional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
a
Possible spelling mistake found.
reslut
they do more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to grow up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
while doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they like to learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religion and cities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they exchange their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Apart from that, if person doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
fully
interest and energy they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promotion with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary.
Did you mean "They're going", "They are going", or "They were going"?
They going
out of city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new citizens and enjoy their culture, food and enhance their knowledge. They enjoy every minute of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Individual achieve their goal's which they set up in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
To conclude
, working for
Possible spelling mistake found.
themseleves
and under someone else
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
importance both give us
Possible spelling mistake found.
myraid
of things to learn. Person happy while working if they satisfy with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and
also
maintain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and family
easily
.
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IELTS essay Some peole like to working by self and some like to do work as an employe what do you think which one is more important

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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