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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The job has a greater effect on one’s overall happiness than the social life does.

The job has a greater effect on one’s overall happiness than the social life does. ld1JD
Throughout history, human beings have always been seeking happiness; however, nowadays, different aspects of one's life which contribute to their happiness have changed according to the complexities of modern world. Psychologically speaking, job and social life are said to be the most decisive factors in one's satisfaction about their lives, but opinions are divided as to whether the role job plays is of more significance or that of one's social life. Despite the fact that the effects of job in one's daily routine cannot be neglected, it is my firm conviction that a spectacular social life is the key to higher rates of one's overall happiness. To support this, there are several reasons, two of which are going to be aptly explored in the following. First and foremost, people spend a greater fraction of their whole time dealing with their social life. Generally speaking, people are open to change and influence of external environment to which they are exposed, and one way to recognize the relative importance of a factor in their happiness is by looking at the extent to which they allocate their time. In other words, the more a person spends their time on something, the more they will be affected by that. As a result, due to the fact that people are inherently sociable and spend at least two-third of their lives socializing, their social life makes stronger impression on their life. According to recent studies, seven in every ten people who enjoy their job but suffer from poor social life, are strongly susceptible to severe degrees of depression because they find it meaningless to work. On the other hand, the results also demonstrate that rarely does job sadden people who have perfect social life, which properly explains the importance of social life. Another worthwhile reason to be mentioned is that an excellent social life directly and positively affects one's job setting as well. Workplace is believed to be an impartial and cold environment in which people get exhausted soon. Nevertheless, a socially skillful person can turn the frustrating work environment into a more friendly one, and, thereby, provoking a convivial atmosphere where they can enjoy their colleagues' companionship. Not only does this enhance one's happiness, life expectancy and overall energy when they leave workplace at the end of the day, but it also enables them work more efficiently and productively, which, in turn, gives them a great sense of achievement and increases their happiness because of their productivity. For example, back then, I worked as medical apparatus technician in a hospital whose environment was dreadful because of patients' pain and diseases. However, using my social skills, I had forged rapport with a lot of my colleagues who acted as a boundless source of energy for me and made me happy all the time. In summary, it is a foregone conclusion that people' overall happiness is affected by their social life more than is it influenced by their job. The fact that social life forms a greater part of one's life, coupled with the benefits it brings to their job settings, is the reason which strengthens my claim.
Throughout history, human beings have always been seeking
happiness
;
however
, nowadays,
different
aspects of one's
life
which contribute to their
happiness
have
changed
according to the complexities of modern world.
Psychologically
speaking,
job
and
social
life
are said
to be the most decisive factors in one's satisfaction about their
lives
,
but
opinions
are divided
as to whether
the role
job
plays is of more significance or that of one's
social
life
. Despite the fact that the effects of
job
in one's daily routine cannot
be neglected
, it is my firm conviction that a spectacular
social
life
is the key to higher rates of one's
overall
happiness
. To support this, there are several reasons, two of which are going to be
aptly
explored in the following.

First
and foremost,
people
spend a greater fraction of their whole time dealing with their
social
life
.
Generally
speaking,
people
are open to
change
and influence of external
environment
to which they
are exposed
, and one way to recognize the relative importance of a factor in their
happiness
is by looking at the extent to which they allocate their time.
In other words
, the more a person spends their time on something, the more they will be
affected
by that.
As a result
, due to the fact that
people
are
inherently
sociable and spend at least two-third of their
lives
socializing, their
social
life
makes
stronger impression on their
life
. According to recent studies, seven in every ten
people
who enjoy their
job
but
suffer from poor
social
life
, are
strongly
susceptible to severe degrees of depression
because
they find it meaningless to work.
On the other hand
, the results
also
demonstrate that rarely does
job
sadden
people
who have perfect
social
life
, which
properly
explains
the importance of
social
life.

Another worthwhile reason to
be mentioned
is that an excellent
social
life
directly
and

positively
affects one's
job
setting
as well
. Workplace
is believed
to be an impartial and
cold
environment
in which
people
get
exhausted
soon
.
Nevertheless
, a
socially
skillful person can turn the frustrating work
environment
into a more friendly one, and, thereby, provoking a convivial atmosphere where they can enjoy their colleagues' companionship. Not
only
does this enhance one's
happiness
,
life
expectancy and
overall
energy when they
leave
workplace at the
end
of the day,
but
it
also
enables them work more
efficiently
and
productively
, which, in turn, gives them a great sense of achievement and increases their
happiness
because
of their productivity.
For example
, back then, I worked as medical apparatus technician in a hospital whose
environment
was dreadful
because
of patients' pain and diseases.
However
, using my
social
skills
, I had forged rapport with
a lot of
my colleagues who acted as a boundless source of energy for me and made me happy all the time.

In summary, it is a foregone conclusion that
people
'
overall
happiness
is
affected
by their
social
life
more than is it influenced by their
job
. The fact that
social
life
forms a greater part of one's
life
, coupled with the benefits it brings to their
job
settings, is the reason which strengthens my claim.
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IELTS essay The job has a greater effect on one’s overall happiness than the social life does.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
521 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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