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The issue of whether to attend a live performance or enjoy watching the same event on television is a controversial one. In my opinion, both have their own advantages.

The issue of whether to attend a live performance or enjoy watching the same event on television is a controversial one. In my opinion, both have their own advantages. YgDdr
It is an undeniable fact that, performances or events are best source of entertainment for folks where it is live or on television. However, some people believe that, live events such as concert or sports are best amusing as compare to watching them on television. I totally agree that, watching on television is more advatageous than attending the events live. To initiate with, watching an event on television can bring many advantages. Advancement in technology have elevated the home-viewing experience above the live version. The advent of high definetion televisions in the last two decades and the expansion of channels are the principle causes. To exemplfy, these days, an individual watching a basketball game can hear commentary, see close-ups of the players, follow the action from the ideal view, and enjoy all this within the comforts of their own home. Moreover, weather conditions will not be a obstacle as viewers will be under the shelters and they will not get disturbed in between. Furthermore, many a times it does happen that, people who are favouring the opponent team may get aggrasive and start abusing or hitting the fans of opposite team as they are lossing the match or event. In this scenario, innocents may get harmed and get serious inguries. Therefore, watching at home is more prefferable that viewing active performance. Intrestingly, it will saves the money of tickets which viewers have to pay before entering the venue of the event and at the same time, people can enjoy the competitons by relaxing themselves and hby having their favorite food. To recapitulate, I admit that, watching events remotely is more advatageous that attending it live. As home is the safest place and people can enjoy the program while doing the other things simultaniously. Also, in television, people can hear each and every stuff about the match through commentary and enjoy the full events with clearity.
It is an undeniable fact that, performances or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
are best source of entertainment for folks where it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
or on television.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
such as concert or sports are best amusing as compare to watching them on television.

I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, watching on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
advatageous
than attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

To initiate with, watching an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages. Advancement in technology have elevated the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
home-viewing


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
experience
above the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
version. The advent of high
Possible spelling mistake found.
definetion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
in the last two decades and the expansion of channels are
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


Did you mean "principal" (=main)?
principle
causes. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
exemplfy
, these days, an individual watching a basketball game can hear commentary,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
close-ups
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
of


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
players, follow the action from the ideal view, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
all this within the comforts of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
home.
Moreover
, weather conditions will not be

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
obstacle as viewers will be under the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shelters and
they will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disturbed in between.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
it does happen that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
the opponent team may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
aggrasive
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
abusing or hitting the fans of opposite

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
team
as they are
Possible spelling mistake found.
lossing
the match or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
. In this scenario, innocents may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
harmed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
serious
Possible spelling mistake found.
inguries
.
Therefore
, watching at home is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
prefferable
that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
viewing
active performance.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Intrestingly
, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "save"
saves
the money of tickets which viewers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
entering the venue of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and at the same time,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
competitons
by relaxing themselves and
Possible spelling mistake found.
hby
having their favorite food.

To recapitulate, I admit that, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
remotely
is more
Possible spelling mistake found.
advatageous
that attending it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. As home is the safest place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the program while doing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
other
things
Possible spelling mistake found.
simultaniously
.
Also
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can hear each and every stuff about the match through commentary and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enjoy
the full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
with
Possible spelling mistake found.
clearity
.
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IELTS essay The issue of whether to attend a live performance or enjoy watching the same event on television is a controversial one. In my opinion, both have their own advantages.

Essay
  American English
14 paragraphs
315 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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