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Write an academic essay of about 250 words on the following topic. Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of extracurricular activities to secondary school students. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Write an academic essay of about 250 words on the following topic. Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of extracurricular activities to secondary school students. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer D2dwk
In recent years, it has been creasingly common to see that extracurricular activities have played a prominent role in secondary school students' lifestyles. A number of students think it brings multiple benefits, while others claim that its disadvantages cannot be ignored. The following paragraph will elucidate the distinct benifical effects and drawbacks of extracurricular activities. On the one hand, it can be contended that extracurricular activities bring substantial advantages to students. One of the most significant benefits is that extracurricular activities help secondary learners ameliorate their mental skills, which could stay with them for a lifetime. In this day and age, the knowledge that books provide is detailed. However, if students only learn through books, their thinking ability will be limited to the pages of paper. By joining extracurricular activities, especially the lively social events that conclude different challenges, it requires participants to learn how to apply the theories to real-life circumstances, anylize, synthesize and evaluate the problem and finally come up with effective solutions. For instance, in a football match, children are required to utilize their skills and quickly make decisions to get the ball in the right way. In addition, extracurricular activities help students build friendships and teamwork skills. When secondary students participate in extracurricular activities, they will be provided with the great opportunity to interact with others who share similar interests and potentially build friendships outside of their typical circle that don’t involve coursework. It helps students build their cooperation, social development and leadership skills. Conversely, there are multiple adverse effects of extracurricular activites that students have to deal with. One of the most serious disadvantages of online learning is that balancing school work with extracurricular activities can be a complicated problem for students. An abundance of activities may take up lots of their valuable time studying and completing homework. When students always take part in extracurricular activites, live with a tough and tight schedule, they could be extremely stressful, exhausted, and easily lose motivation to do any lively social events or even study. Furthermore, busy secondary school students also have less time to spend at home with their families, which can put a strain on familial relationships as the kids get older. Parents and children should communicate so that young children do not face unneeded early pressures. To sum up everything that has been stated so far, it can be clearly seen that extracurricular activities has made a tremendous contribution to secondary school students’ improvement. There are, however, a number of potential drawbacks that must be overcome. .
In recent years, it has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
creasingly
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have played a prominent role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students' lifestyles. A number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it brings multiple benefits, while others claim that its disadvantages cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The following paragraph will elucidate the distinct
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifical
effects and drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
activities.

On the one hand, it can
be contended
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
bring substantial advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. One of the most significant benefits is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
learners ameliorate their mental
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which could stay with them for a lifetime. In this day and age, the knowledge that books provide
is detailed
.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learn through books, their thinking ability will
be limited
to the pages of paper. By joining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
especially
the lively social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
that conclude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
challenges, it requires participants to learn how to apply the theories to real-life circumstances,
Possible spelling mistake found.
anylize
, synthesize and evaluate the problem and
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with effective solutions.
For instance
, in a football match, children
are required
to utilize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
quickly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the ball in the right way.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
build friendships and teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, they will
be provided
with the great opportunity to interact with others who share similar interests and
potentially
build friendships
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
their typical circle that don’t involve coursework. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
build their cooperation, social development and leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Conversely
, there are multiple adverse effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
deal with. One of the most serious disadvantages of online learning is that balancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
work with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can be a complicated problem for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. An abundance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
may take up lots of their valuable time studying and completing homework. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with a tough and tight schedule, they could be
extremely
stressful, exhausted, and
easily
lose motivation to do any lively social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
or even study.
Furthermore
, busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
have less time to spend at home with their families, which can put a strain on familial relationships as the kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older. Parents and children should communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that young children do not face unneeded early pressures.

To sum up everything that has
been stated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extracurricular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has made a tremendous contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
improvement. There are,
however
, a number of potential drawbacks that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be overcome
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Write an academic essay of about 250 words on the following topic. Discuss the benefits and drawbacks of extracurricular activities to secondary school students. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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