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Nowadays, man and woman have full-time job. So the household chores should be divided equally. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, man and woman have full-time job. So the household chores should be divided equally. j5Y8L
When the question of household task come into view, there exist many trend. Some people strongly tend to believe that household chores should be shared between men and women equally, and I agree with this idea. To begin with, there are two reasons why man and woman should divide the household chores equally. Firstly, dividing everyday tasks will strengthen the family relationship. It is unfair for woman if they have to do both ordinary chores alone and work full time because working full time is very difficult, so that it is necessary for man to give hand in household tasks.
When the question of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
task
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
into view, there exist
Possible agreement error. The noun trend seems to be countable; consider using: "many trends".
many trend
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
strongly
tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores should
be shared
between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women
equally
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and woman should divide the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
chores
equally
.
Firstly
, dividing everyday tasks will strengthen the family relationship. It is unfair for woman if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do both ordinary chores alone and work full time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
working full time is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it is necessary for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to give hand in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
tasks.

IELTS essay Nowadays, man and woman have full-time job. So the household chores should be divided equally.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
100 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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