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The issue of social networking sites "for instance, Facebook

The issue of social networking sites "for instance, Facebook lXpMo
In modern times. The issue of social networking sites "for instance, Facebook" has become highly controversial. Many commentators are of the view that social media is beneficial whereas others believe that it contains detrimental effect on the society. I will examine both sides of the arguments and provide my opinion. Generally speaking, there are varieties of reasons why people believe that Facebook has plenty of advantages. Perhaps the main reason why people think that Facebook is promising is because it brings the world closer to us. A good illustration of this is that through facebook we can meet up with different community from which we can discover about many cultures around the world. Furthermore, the social community makes an extraordinary platform for business. For instance, we can now easily sell any products to the people even from one country to another. Despite these arguments many people feel that that social websites have a carcinogenic effect to the society. Perhaps the main reason why people are not in favor of social media sites is because it has made distance among the local community. For example when there are no social media sites available, people used to spend their time more with friends and family but now most of the people are online dependent. They love to spend their time with the people they have not seen just to talk with them. A further point against facebook is that it can effect the children. This is because children nowadays spend most of the time in the internet and it is gradually effecting their study with detrimental effect. In conclusion, it must be said that using of social media has become a complex issue with no easy solution. Having consideration both sides of the issue I would argue that social platform is disadvantageous for most of the people of the country. It is high time we for us to use the social media sites in an advantageous way.
In modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
. The issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
for instance
, Facebook
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
has become
highly
controversial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
commentators are of the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is beneficial whereas others believe that it contains detrimental effect on the society. I will examine both sides of the arguments and provide my opinion.

Generally
speaking, there are varieties of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that Facebook has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages. Perhaps the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that Facebook is promising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it brings the world closer to us. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is that through
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
community from which we can discover about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cultures around the world.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an extraordinary platform for business.
For instance
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
easily
sell any products to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
even from one country to another.

Despite these arguments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites have a carcinogenic effect to the society. Perhaps the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has made distance among the local community.
For example
when there are no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
available,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
more with friends and family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are online dependent. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to talk with them. A
further
point against
Possible spelling mistake found.
facebook
is that it can effect the children. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
children nowadays spend most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
and it is
gradually
effecting their study with detrimental effect.

In conclusion
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be said
that using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has become a complex issue with no easy solution. Having consideration both sides of the issue I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
platform is disadvantageous for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the country. It is high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
Consider replacing "in an advantageous way" with the adverb for "advantageous"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an advantageous way
.
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IELTS essay The issue of social networking sites "for instance, Facebook

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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