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Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is good idea, while others disagrew strongly .

Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is good idea, while others disagrew strongly. 2KLAX
While gap years is a tapic controversial between some people. There are arguments on both side of this topic and I will discuss them now. On the one hand, opponents of gap years mention to the cost increas that can indeed be a pawerful reason such as life expenses, accomidation and travel expenss. Sacandly young person's adapt own with unversity than adulth person's. As they dont focus to studying because of existence distraction after allOn the other hand, supoters of gap years say that skill learn outwigh disadvantages. They con improve own pesonalty like independence and assertiveness. thus they learn time management and interpersonal skill. Furthermore, They can increase own experiment with voluntry work or works they have intrests them like business and art. Inconclusion, my own idea is that a gap years can have benfit and they are useful before started university. Of course, it need to the special progarm and persverance.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
years is a
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tapic
controversial between
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some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There are arguments on both side of this topic and I will discuss them
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now
. On the one hand, opponents of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
years mention to the cost
Possible spelling mistake found.
increas
that can
indeed
be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
pawerful
reason such as life expenses,
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomidation
and travel
Possible spelling mistake found.
expenss
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sacandly
young person's adapt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
with
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unversity
than
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adulth
person's. As they
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dont
focus to studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of existence distraction after
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allOn
the other hand,
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supoters
of
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gap
years say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
learn
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outwigh
disadvantages. They con
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Possible spelling mistake found.
pesonalty
like independence and assertiveness.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
thus
they learn time management and interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Furthermore
, They can increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experiment with
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voluntry
work or works they have
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intrests
them like business and art.
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Inconclusion
, my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
years can have
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
benfit and
they are useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
university.
Of course
, it
Did you mean "needs"?
need
to the special
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progarm
and
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persverance
.

IELTS essay Some people believe that a gap year between school and university is good idea, while others disagrew strongly.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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