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The invention of the Smartphone marks a crucial turning point in innovation, becoming the most necessary item on everyone’s list. Today, it is rare to see a person without one, constantly entering data and searching for information. However, while it is a social milestone, the Smartphone is also responsible for a changing culture. Please share your perspectives on this topic and discuss your views on the subject from both a personal and professional perspective.

The invention of the Smartphone marks a crucial turning point in innovation, becoming the most necessary item on everyone’s list. Today, it is rare to see a person without one, constantly entering data and searching for information. However, while it is a social milestone, the Smartphone is also responsible for a changing culture. Please share your perspectives on this topic and discuss your views on the subject from both a personal and professional perspective. xxm0y
Nowadays, in our life there are a lot of evolution, but the most important evolution is the Smartphone. That's why almost everybody has a phone. This change has a lot of advantages but also disadvantages that depends on the point of view. Personally, I believe that phenomenon help everyone to call, to contact someone, to take picture and other activities. This technology is indispensable for our generation, and I suppose for the next generation also. Besides, with the growth of this technology we notice a change in our culture that some people dislike that's creating a separate society. From my point of view, I think that this change is good but needs limits because some people start to be addict. Firstly, I would like to talk about the good aspect of the smartphone for the society. To start, all the things that we can do on just one thing it's just amazing, before everyone think that this is possible in our world. If I ask my grandparents, they are always shocked by this change. Moreover, this evolution continues to grow because now you can pay with your phone because your pay card is in your phone to be faster at the moment to pay. All that show that the innovation is essential to the population and help all of them. Secondly, I going to talk of another aspect of the beginning of the phones because this arrival makes a lot of change but not very good for all the population. That's why I think we need of limits in this technology because like we can see all the people need to have a telephone in his pocket, that start even continuing to be essential in our life. However, this dependance can be dangerous because everyone enjoys of the moment, the teenagers think directly to take a picture with their and don't enjoy with their own eye. Furthermore, the evolution of smartphone is also responsible for a changing culture, as example, before the parent play with their children with carts or at the "monopoly" and other games but now it's totally different the parent give their smartphone at their children to play at an application or to take picture but for me it's not the same, there is less connection with the children. To conclude, the evolution of the Smartphone is great, and practice and we need to that to wake up, to chat with our friends. . . But it's important to keep the culture of the old generation because there are a lot of good aspect.
Nowadays, in our life there are a
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lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evolution
,
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but
the most
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important
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evolution
is the Smartphone. That's why almost everybody has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
disadvantages that depends on the point of view.
Personally
, I believe that phenomenon
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
everyone to call, to contact someone, to take picture and other activities. This technology is indispensable for our generation, and I suppose for the
next
generation
also
.
Besides
, with the growth of this technology we notice a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in our culture that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
dislike that's creating a separate society. From my point of view, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
limits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to be
Consider using a past participle here: "addicted".
addict
.

Firstly
, I would like to talk about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
aspect of the smartphone for the society. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, all the things that we can do on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one thing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
amazing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "thinks", "thought".
think
that this is possible in our world. If I ask my grandparents, they are always shocked by this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Moreover
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evolution
continues to grow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
you can pay with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
your pay card is in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
to be faster at the moment to pay. All that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that the innovation is essential to the population and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
all of them.

Secondly
,
Did you mean "I'm going", "I am going", or "I was going"?
I going
to talk of another aspect of the beginning of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this arrival
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
for all the population. That's why I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of limits in this technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
like we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have a telephone in his pocket, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
even continuing to be essential in our life.
However
, this
Possible spelling mistake found.
dependance
can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone enjoys of the moment, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
directly
to take a picture with their and don't enjoy with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eye.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evolution
of smartphone is
also
responsible for a changing culture, as example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the parent play with their children with carts or at the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
monopoly
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
and other games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
the parent give their smartphone at their children to play at an application or to take picture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for me
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
not the same, there is less connection with the children.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
evolution
of the Smartphone is great, and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
practice and
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to that to wake up, to chat with our friends.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the culture of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
aspect.
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IELTS essay The invention of the Smartphone marks a crucial turning point in innovation, becoming the most necessary item on everyone’s list. Today, it is rare to see a person without one, constantly entering data and searching for information. However, while it is a social milestone, the Smartphone is also responsible for a changing culture. Please share your perspectives on this topic and discuss your views on the subject from both a personal and professional perspective.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
427 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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