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Lifestyle is why changed as compared to past today

Lifestyle is why changed as compared to past today yLXDd
In a rapidly developing world the differences in opinion, attitude and lifestyle of children from those of parents and grand parents is obvious. This can be due to several reasons ranging from emergence of new technologies to influence of western cultures. This leads to various problems such as lack of inter-generation communication. (52 words) Body Paragraph 1: (EXALAIN why differences exist) Emerging technologies such as smartphones, mobile applications, laptops and video games create a cultural gap between two generations. While the parents prefer personal one-on-one interaction, children use Facebook and Twitter to communicate with friends. The gap is futher increased by the spread of western ideas in developing countries. This is evident in food habits of children, who prefer burgers and junk food, and parents who prefer home made traditional food. For instance, a recent research in India claimed that western cultural influence spread through international brands such as Levis, McDonalds, KFC and Facebook have decreased the time children spend with parents in 2017 by at least 35 percent as compared to 1990. This has tremendously increased the differences in thoughts, ideas and actions between the two generations. (128 words) Body Paragraph 2: (EXPLAIN the problems) These cultural differences result in a lack of communication between two generations which leads to improper guidance for youth on one hand and loss of cultural identity on the other. Social scientists have proved that if children and parents do not spend sufficient time eating food and discussing ideas, events, history and culture, a community will forget its culture within five generations. (63 words) Conclusion: (Conclude the essay by either paraphrasing or writing about FUTURE) In conclusion, the differences in ideas and attitude of children and parents are natural. However, these may seriously hamper the development of a society and lead to loss of identity. The differences should be bridged by encouraging the parents and children to spend more time with each other.
In a
rapidly
developing world the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in opinion, attitude and lifestyle of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from those of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and grand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is obvious. This can be due to several reasons ranging from emergence of new technologies to influence of western cultures. This leads to various problems such as lack of inter-generation communication. (52 words)

Body Paragraph 1: (
Possible spelling mistake found.
EXALAIN
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
exist)

Emerging technologies such as smartphones, mobile applications, laptops and video games create a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
gap between two generations. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
prefer personal one-on-one interaction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Facebook and Twitter to communicate with friends. The gap is
Possible spelling mistake found.
futher
increased by the spread of western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. This is evident in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, who prefer burgers and junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who prefer home made traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
For instance
, a recent research in India claimed that western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
influence spread through international brands such as Levis,
Did you mean the fast food chain "McDonald's" (always spelled with a possessive apostrophe)?
McDonalds
, KFC and Facebook have decreased the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
in 2017 by at least 35 percent as compared to 1990. This has
tremendously
increased the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in thoughts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and actions between the two generations. (128 words)

Body Paragraph 2: (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
EXPLAIN
the problems)

These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
result in a lack of communication between two generations which leads to improper guidance for youth on one hand and loss of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
identity on the other. Social scientists have proved that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not spend sufficient time eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and discussing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, history and culture, a community will forget its culture within five generations. (63 words)

Conclusion: (Conclude the essay by either paraphrasing or writing about FUTURE)

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
and attitude of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are natural.
However
, these may
seriously
hamper the development of a society and lead to loss of identity. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
differences
should
be bridged
by encouraging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend more time with each other.
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IELTS essay Lifestyle is why changed as compared to past today

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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