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Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v.9

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 9
In recent years, imprisonment is assumed as the finest method of punishment to offenders of law because after running the punishment time, the majority of people tend to be good members of the society. This condition derives plenty of people think that the prisoners are convenient speakers to talk to adolescents about the precarious of breaking the laws. I personally agree with that statements and I have some reasons to support it which will be explained briefly in the following paragraph. First and foremost, detention given to the criminals is usually followed by training and educations that will be utilised in their future life. For instance, they are taught about religion and how to survive their life in the right way such as lessons for becoming a tailor or a painter. Those lessons make them likely to be better inhabitants and might easier to be accepted in their circumstances after completing their penalty. Furthermore, due to the experiences obtained as long as running punishment, they seem to become suitable speakers to tell the teens about the difficulties that might be faced when living in a prison. To illustrate, they can share how regretful they are after committing a bad action and how they felt and repented because they cannot meet their family and cannot act freely like others. This story will certainly be remembered by the adolescents since they hear about those bad impacts directly from the prisoners so they will think twice if they want to disobey the applied rule. In a nutshell, It can be concluded that majority of people become better citizens after obtaining lessons at the jail and because of the experiences acquired in the jail, they are likely to be suitable people to tell the teenagers about drawbacks which occur owing to be a criminal.
In recent years, imprisonment
is assumed
as the finest method of punishment to offenders of law
because
after running the punishment time, the majority of
people
tend to be
good
members of the society. This condition derives
plenty
of
people
think
that the prisoners are convenient speakers to talk to adolescents about
the precarious of
breaking the laws. I
personally
agree
with that statements and I have
some
reasons to support it which will be
explained
briefly
in the following paragraph.

First
and foremost, detention
given
to the criminals is
usually
followed by training and educations that will be
utilised
in their future life.
For instance
, they
are taught
about religion and how to survive their life in the right way such as lessons for becoming a tailor or a painter. Those lessons
make
them likely to be better inhabitants and might easier to be
accepted
in their circumstances after completing their penalty.

Furthermore
, due to the experiences obtained as long as running punishment, they seem to become suitable speakers to
tell
the teens about the difficulties that might
be faced
when living in a prison. To illustrate, they can share how regretful they are after committing a
bad
action and how they felt and repented
because
they cannot
meet
their family and cannot act
freely
like others. This story will
certainly
be remembered
by the adolescents since they hear about those
bad
impacts
directly
from the prisoners
so
they will
think
twice if they want to disobey the applied
rule
.

In a nutshell, It can
be concluded
that majority of
people
become better citizens after obtaining lessons at the jail and
because
of the experiences acquired in the jail, they are likely to be suitable
people
to
tell
the
teenagers
about drawbacks which occur owing to be a criminal.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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