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The Internet has trasformed the way information is shared and consumed what are the problems and solutions

The Internet has trasformed the way information is shared and consumed what are the problems and solutions dl1gX
The enormous use of technology has changed the method of sending and receiving data. The problems that are linked with use of internet are spoiling of children as well as hacking and fraud is very common. The solution to this is that there should be a department that must monitor and we should also aware people. First and foremost, internet cause a serious damage to children as well as adults. Internet enable pupils to reach such inappropriate websites that are very harmful to them and in result it can also lead to major health problems. Another crucial trouble is that internet give access to the hackers. To illustrate, crackers use computer and internet to get to our personal things and also transfer money from our account to their. This can be illustrated by a survey in Asia that many groups fraud to people by calling them and taking their personal information and then use it for different purposes. Thereby, internet have major impact on children and on our online data. On the other hand, the solution to this is that there should be a separate and special area in every IT center. To explain, the people working in these departments monitor that how many children are using internet and for what purpose. If there is anything incorrect they must inform their guardian. In addition awareness among people can also be the solution to this worry. There must be a compaign in every city to teach residents about the abuse of internet this in result might be effective. For instance, a lot of similar cases were seen in Canada in 2015. So, the government of state started awaring people through advertisments. This reduces the problem. Therefore, these are solutions to this reason. To sum up the discussion, internet is widely used all over the world. It have many drawbacks that people use it for different purposes. The solution to this lies in awareness and there must be institution that keep eye on them.
The enormous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the method of sending and receiving data. The problems that
are linked
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet are spoiling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as hacking and fraud is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to this is that there should be a department that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
monitor and
we should
also
aware
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

First
and foremost, internet cause
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "serious damage".
a serious damage
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as well
as adults. Internet enable pupils to reach such inappropriate websites that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to them and in result it can
also
lead to major health problems. Another crucial trouble is that internet give access to the hackers. To illustrate, crackers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computer and internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to our personal things and
also
transfer money from our account to their. This can
be illustrated
by a survey in Asia that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
groups fraud to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by calling them and taking their personal information and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes. Thereby, internet have major impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and on our online data.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to this is that there should be a separate and special area in every IT center. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in these departments monitor that how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are using internet and for what purpose.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
there is anything incorrect they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
inform their guardian. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
also
be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to this worry. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a
Possible spelling mistake found.
compaign
in every city to teach residents about the abuse of internet this in result might be effective.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
similar cases were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Canada in 2015.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Possible spelling mistake found.
awaring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisments
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the problem.
Therefore
, these are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
to this reason.

To sum up the discussion, internet is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
all over the world. It
Did you mean "has"?
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solution
to this lies in awareness and there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be institution that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
eye on them.
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IELTS essay The Internet has trasformed the way information is shared and consumed what are the problems and solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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