Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel before university. What's the advantages and disadvantages of it?

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel before university. What's the advantages and disadvantages of it? pKNEd
In some places, the young finishing high school are stimulated to find a job or go on a holiday before starting university. This tendency has some benefits but it also leads to some drawbacks. One the one hand, one evident benefit to starting career or travelling before bachelor's degree is that young people can gain a lot of experience by working, which will be useful for their future career and life. In other words, while working they will get much more experienced and learn some essential skills, such as communication, time management and problem solving. These crucial skills, which many employers require, can only be learned in the workplace. Hence, if universities provide students with important theories and assumption with regard to their specialty, jobs give them responsibilities and by doing this, they will become more confident. As well as gaining experience and learning practical skills, working also allows them to get enough money. With this money, they can afford tution fee or expend it on education abroad. The more money they get, the better education or life they will have. Nevertheless, there are obvious drawbacks to getting job or going on a trip before university. Firstly, finding a good job may be tough for young individuals those who have not started university yet. This is because, many jobs require university diploma or there can be some requirements related to advanced knowledge, which only be taught by professors. Secondly, going on a holiday can be waste of money. Instead, youngsters should invest money on their education, particularly students who want to study in famous or high-quality universities. By doing so, they will give themselves opportunities to get a good job with high salary. In conclusion, while there are some advantages in terms of earning money and gaining experience, it also has some drawbacks including lack of experience and waste of money.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, the young finishing high school
are stimulated
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or go on a holiday
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This tendency has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, one evident benefit to starting career or travelling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
bachelor's degree is that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
by working, which will be useful for their future career and life.
In other words
, while working they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
much more experienced and learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as communication, time management and problem solving. These crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers require, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be learned
in the workplace.
Hence
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide students with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
theories and assumption with regard to their specialty,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
give them responsibilities and by doing this, they will become more confident.
As well
as gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and learning practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, working
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. With this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they can afford
Possible spelling mistake found.
tution
fee or expend it on education abroad. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
, the better education or life they will have.

Nevertheless
, there are obvious drawbacks to getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or going on a trip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
Firstly
, finding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
may be tough for young individuals those who have not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
yet
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
diploma or there can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
requirements related to advanced knowledge, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be taught
by professors.
Secondly
, going on a holiday can be waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Instead
, youngsters should invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on their education,
particularly
students who want to study in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
or high-quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
. By doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they will give themselves opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with high salary.

In conclusion
, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages in terms of earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks including lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel before university. What's the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5.5band
    cheatgrass benefits and disadvantages
    Both the reading and writing discuss about an invasive species of grass that is cheat grass. While the reading suggests some solutions to the invasion of cheat grass, the writer disagrees to the solutions. The reading claims that cheat grass are found in Europe and Asia and are invasive type of gra...
  • 5band
    childen are often told that they can achieve anything
    Firstly, I think the main advantage is that children from childhood would be believe in their self and be motivating. As a result, teenagers will develop skills and unleash their creativity. Also, this message a good reason to push for achieving their goals in future. But there are some advantages ...
  • 5.5band
    Libraries are no longer necessary
    Libraries have been a medium of obtaining information for centuries. They are a specific location, where individuals are found studying. Libraries have been a predominately principal factor when it comes to a peaceful and prudent place - especially for students. Libraries contain a colossal stack of...
  • 6.5band
    More and more students are choosing to study abroad. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages?
    Nowadays, it is getting very popular to study abroad among students rather than in their local universities. I personally believe that advantages of learning in a different country outweigh its drawbacks. To begin with, there are several merits of studying overseas. One of the most significant bene...
  • 5.5band
    It is said that young people should visit other countries as it is beneficial for their development.
    Nowadays, Youngsters want to quickly connect to new technologies and new culture of other country. There are many chances to develop themselves. Some student goes for further study in foreign country and some youngsters go for travelling foreign country to increase their knowledge. I totally agree w...
  • 5.5band
    Should people share every information in the public?
    In this day and age, the information plays a crucial role in our digital and non-digital wellbeing. Although some people are actively advocating the fact that we should share as much information as we can for the purpose of scientific research, business, and academia, still there is a concern of saf...