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The Internet has many disadvantages as it does advantagesTo what extent do you agree with this statement? v.2

The Internet has many disadvantages as it does advantages v. 2
Today, there are amny modern technilogy for people in the world such as social network, smart phone, air condition. . . Especially, the Internet is one of the most modern technology. It has become a key tool for obtaining information and for communication all over the world. In my opinion, I complete agree that th Internet has both advantages and disadvantages. On the one hand, there are many advantages of the Internet. Firstly, people can use a equipment like laptop, smart phone, . . connection the Internet means that people can keep in touch with their friends and family easily through email and social networking websites. For example, if a person has relatives in another country, they can keep in contact using Facebook or Skype. In addition, fiding out information online is much quiker than visiting libraries or making expensive phone calls. Finally, the Internet has made work easier and quicker. For instance, in the past, people often had to travel long distance for meetings for your working and now they can video call instead. On the other hand, some people believe that the Internet has disadvantages. Firstly, the Internet can makes people lazy. For example, people now do lots of thing online like shopping and socializing, when it might be better for them to do these things in the real world. Secondly, the Internet can be addictive, especially in young people. Young people may spend too much time on the Internet compared to other activities. Furthermore, the Internet contains a lot of information which is not correct. This is because anyone can put anything they want to on the Internet without checked for accurancy or truth. In conclusion, although it has advantages and disadvantages, the Internet has made life so mcu easier in so many ways. If people use it effectively, it will be an excellent tool.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
amny
modern
Possible spelling mistake found.
technilogy
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world such as social network, smart phone, air condition.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Especially
, the Internet is one of the most modern
Please check whether a plural form of 'technology' should be used.
technology
. It has become a key tool for obtaining information and for communication all over the world. In my opinion, I complete
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
th
Internet has both advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of the Internet.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "equipment".
a equipment
like laptop, smart phone
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
connection
the Internet means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their friends and family
easily
through email and social networking websites.
For example
, if a person has relatives in another country, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in contact using Facebook or Skype.
In addition
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
fiding
out information online is much
Possible spelling mistake found.
quiker
than visiting libraries or making expensive phone calls.
Finally
, the Internet has made work easier and quicker.
For instance
, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
had to travel long distance for meetings for your working and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they can video call
instead
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the Internet has disadvantages.
Firstly
, the Internet can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "make"
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
do
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of things".
lots of thing
online like shopping and socializing, when it might be better for them to do these things in the real world.
Secondly
, the Internet can be addictive,
especially
in young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may spend too much time on the Internet compared to other activities.
Furthermore
, the Internet contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
information which is not correct. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
anyone can put anything they want to on the Internet without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
accurancy
or truth.

In conclusion
, although it has advantages and disadvantages, the Internet has made life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
mcu
easier in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it
effectively
, it will be an excellent tool.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay The Internet has many disadvantages as it does advantages v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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