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Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which view point do you agree with? Use specific reasons and example to support your opini v.2

Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which view point do you agree with? Use specific reasons and example to support your opini v. 2
Food is an indispensable substance that existence rests upon. There has been an upswing in the consumption of oven-ready foods rather than newly made foods by some persons. Despite the advantages such as time-saving and economic development, I consider the benefits derived are minimal to the setbacks from these processed feeds. Without any doubt, a major advantage of accepting this type of meal is its accessibility when needed. It requires lesser effort and shorter time in making it available. In other words, it saves time for the purpose of doing other important things, especially for career-focused individuals. In other words, It doesn't contribute to the stress already acquired in work- processes and this has enabled some persons to become the man/woman of their dream. In addition, this has also provided a means of income for some people. Having to provide ready-made food has promoted entrepreneurship, which indirectly hires more suppliers of labour. This cannot be denied to contribute largely to the economic development of a nation because it reduces the rate of unemployment in the society. Regardless of the benefits above, one of the setbacks is the preserving agents the fast-foods contain. The preservatives used in conserving this type of meal could be life-threatening. Considering the report from the Standard Organisation of Nigeria (2017), it frowned at the compositions of ready-made foods, especially the seasoning which relatively has no benefit on people's health, but instead, contributes largely to health-related issues such as obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular issues. Consequently, it endangers and reduces life span. Furthermore, it encourages indolence, especially in women. Mothers seem to find this as a shortcut to providing meals for themselves and their family members due to their busy schedules. This merely provides an avenue for their partners to state the specification of how they want their food to taste. For example, a diabetic spouse will not take preference in ready-made foods due to the standard of spices added in making it which contradicts the well being of a high-level sugar patient. In conclusion, irrespective of the advantages of ready-made meals, the luscious taste, and the life-saving effect of freshly made feeds overrides the downside fast-foods offer.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Food
is an indispensable substance that existence rests upon. There has been an upswing in the consumption of oven-ready
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
rather
than
newly
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons. Despite the advantages such as time-saving and economic development, I consider the benefits derived are minimal to the setbacks from these processed feeds.

Without any doubt, a major advantage of accepting this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
is its accessibility when needed. It requires lesser effort and shorter time in making it available.
In other words
, it saves time for the purpose of doing other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things,
especially
for career-focused individuals.
In other words
, It doesn't contribute to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
already acquired in work- processes and this has enabled
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons to become the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
/woman of their dream.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, this has
also
provided a means of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Having to provide ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has promoted entrepreneurship, which
indirectly
hires more suppliers of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
. This cannot
be denied
to contribute
largely
to the economic development of a nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the rate of unemployment in the society.

Regardless of the benefits above, one of the setbacks is the preserving agents the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-foods contain. The preservatives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in conserving this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
could be life-threatening. Considering the report from the Standard
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
of Nigeria (2017), it frowned at the compositions of ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
,
especially
the seasoning which
relatively
has no benefit on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
instead
, contributes
largely
to health-related issues such as obesity, diabetes, cardiovascular issues.
Consequently
, it endangers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
life span.
Furthermore
, it encourages indolence,
especially
in women. Mothers seem to find this as a shortcut to providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
for themselves and their family members due to their busy schedules. This
merely
provides an avenue for their partners to state the specification of how they want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to taste.
For example
, a diabetic spouse will not take preference in ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
due to the standard of spices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in making it which contradicts the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of a high-level sugar patient.

In conclusion
, irrespective of the advantages of ready-made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meals
, the luscious taste, and the life-saving effect of
freshly
made feeds overrides the downside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-foods offer.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe that students should be given one long vacation each year. others believe that students should have several short vacations throughout the year. Which view point do you agree with? Use specific reasons and example to support your opini v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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