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The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v.6

The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 6
While it is true that the Internet has become an essential part of human life recently, it is difficult to determine whether it affects society completely positive or negative. I agree with this opinion, the Internet has created better options and made life easier for the users. Thanks to the Internet, human life has evolved into a life likes everything can be reach simply and quickly. Although, people have less active in their daily life than the past, and this situation has caused people more nerdy. On the one hand, the Internet has ensured people to communicate with each other a great deal larger easily. In the past, it used to take weeks or months to hear from someone because of the ways people used to communicate. These ways were writing letters, sending telegraph or waiting in line up in order to speak on telephone. Nevertheless, the Internet which has been available in present days provides an opportunity for society to stay connected among themselves thanks to social media such as Whatsapp, Skype. This communication only takes about a second for delivery and receive by their friends or family. Therefore, electronic communication ensures bond of relationship never breaks. On the other hand, with the technological advancement of devices, research materials and facilities, humans have become more isolated socially. One reason is that they do not prefer leaving home, they even shopping online, study at home instead of at a library. Almost all of the society have their own mobile phone, and they can use it for whatever they need, such as attractive and entertaining applications, chatting, watching activities in movie rather than experience it. Therefore, they have tended to less travelling, doing sports or cultural activities in crowds. In conclusion, although both opinions have justified sides, I believe the Internet has had a positive impact on modern life because it has created easy life, thanks to reach information, loved ones, what we want and need compared to past.
While it is true that the Internet has become an essential part of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
recently, it is difficult to determine whether it affects society completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion, the Internet has created better options and made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easier for the users. Thanks to the Internet, human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
has evolved into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
likes everything can be reach
simply
and
quickly
. Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have less active in their daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
than the past, and this situation has caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more nerdy.

On the one hand, the Internet has ensured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate with each other a great deal larger
easily
. In the past, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to take weeks or months to hear from someone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the ways
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to communicate. These ways were writing letters, sending telegraph or waiting in line up in order to speak on telephone.
Nevertheless
, the Internet which has been available in present days provides an opportunity for society to stay connected among themselves thanks to social media such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
, Skype. This communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes about a second for delivery and receive by their friends or family.
Therefore
, electronic communication ensures bond of relationship never breaks.

On the other hand
, with the technological advancement of devices, research materials and facilities, humans have become more isolated
socially
. One reason is that they do not prefer leaving home,
Did you mean "they're even shopping", "they are even shopping", or "they were even shopping"?
they even shopping
online, study at home
instead
of at a library. Almost
Consider using "all the".
all of the
society have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile phone, and they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for whatever they need, such as attractive and entertaining applications, chatting, watching activities in movie
rather
than experience it.
Therefore
, they have tended to less travelling, doing sports or cultural activities in crowds.

In conclusion
, although both opinions have justified sides, I believe the Internet has had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has created easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, thanks to reach information,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones, what we want and need compared to past.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. Although some of these changes have been negative, the overall effect of this technology has been positive. What are your opinions on this? v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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