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The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. v.13

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. v. 13
It is obvious that Information age brings speed to our life. Speed and easiness of the internet make it the most popular media in social affairs. “Social networks” concept has been redefined by the internet development. The internet connection type advocates are of the view that meanwhile, the internet links us together, it has not any side effect; I disagree with it. First of all, the internet connection methods such as social networks encourage people not to visit each other physically. Their users gradually prefer to use cheap and available internet connection to find their relevance and friends instead of visiting each other in the real world. This may lead to reducing kindness between people. For example, children may rather send a birthday congratulation email to his/her old parents instead of visiting and embracing them. They may even send their birthday gift using gift websites. Moreover, using this media for connecting to others, may addict their users. They overspend plenty of time in social networks, checking email, chatting, and etc. while they have necessary personal and professional works. They forget time behind their computers smart devices. Their performance had reduced in work; this may cause giving up their job. They also neglect their personal activities such as personal cares and doing house chores. To conclude, although it is undeniable that the internet brings enormous useful services for us, I hold the view that using it as media for connecting world people are damaging in the current manner. I hope we can use the internet better and improve our relations quality.
It is obvious that Information age brings speed to our life. Speed and easiness of the internet
make
it the most popular media in
social
affairs.
“Social
networks” concept has
been redefined
by the internet development. The internet connection type advocates are of the view that meanwhile, the internet links us together, it has not any side effect; I disagree with it.

First of all
, the internet connection methods such as
social
networks encourage
people
not to visit each other
physically
. Their users
gradually
prefer to
use
cheap
and available internet connection to find their relevance and friends
instead
of visiting each other in the real world. This may lead to reducing kindness between
people
.
For example
, children may
rather
send
a birthday congratulation email to his/her
old
parents
instead
of visiting and embracing them. They may even
send
their birthday gift using gift websites.

Moreover
, using this media for connecting to others, may addict their users. They overspend
plenty
of time in
social
networks, checking email, chatting,
and etc
. while they have necessary personal and professional works. They forget time behind their computers smart devices. Their performance had
reduced
in work; this may cause giving up their job. They
also
neglect their personal activities such as personal cares and doing
house
chores.

To conclude
, although it is undeniable that the internet brings enormous useful services for us, I hold the view that using it as media for connecting world
people
are damaging in the
current
manner. I hope we can
use
the internet better and
improve
our relations quality.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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