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The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. v.1

The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. v. 1
These days, thanks to the existence of the internet the way we communicate and interact with each other is changing dramatically. However, it is widely claimed that even if the internet enables us to keep in touch with each other, it also isolates us and discourages from talking with people around. Despite this, I believe that it has never affected our relationships with others. To begin with, thanks to the internet we can keep contact with others who are far away from us. This mostly benefitted businesses since they can even attract or find customers from other countries and therefore expand. It also influenced our personal lives. Due to the existence of online devices such as IMO, Zoom and Skype we can keep in touch with the friends from childhood or with relatives living in distant countries. For example, thanks to the application called IMO, I can easily make video calls and converse with my relatives living in the U. S. A. That enables us not to forget about each other. Secondly, I strongly believe that instead of isolating us the internet helps us augment the relationships between each other. This is because we can talk with each other as much as we can which means that we can become closer to each other. Also, as studies have shown, when we interract virtually we are more sociable. Therefore, we can exchange the secrets or memories from the past which means that conversely our relationships strengthen and we become even more interractive. To sum up, the internet has brought about many benefits to our lives. Apart from being able to keep contact with those who are in isolated places, we can also become more sociable and closer to each other. That is why I think that the internet is never bad.
These days, thanks to the existence of the internet the way we communicate and interact with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is changing
dramatically
.
However
, it is
widely
claimed that even if the internet enables us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
in touch with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, it
also
isolates us and discourages from talking with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around. Despite this, I believe that it has never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our relationships with others.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, thanks to the internet we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
contact with others who are far away from us. This
mostly
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
businesses since they can even attract or find customers from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries and
therefore
expand. It
also
influenced our personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Due to the existence of online devices such as IMO, Zoom and Skype we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
in touch with the friends from childhood or with relatives living in distant countries.
For example
, thanks to the application called IMO, I can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls and converse with my relatives living in the U. S. A. That enables us not to forget about each other.

Secondly
, I
strongly
believe that
instead
of isolating us the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us augment the relationships between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we can talk with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
as much as we
Please check whether a verb is missing here.
can which
means that we can become closer to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Also
, as studies have shown, when we
Possible spelling mistake found.
interract
virtually
we are more sociable.
Therefore
, we can exchange the secrets or memories from the past which means that
conversely
our relationships
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
strengthen and
we become even more
Possible spelling mistake found.
interractive
.

To sum up, the internet has brought about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Apart from being able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
contact with those who are in isolated places, we can
also
become more sociable and closer to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
That is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the internet is never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are. On the other hand, it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialize. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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