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Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. v.5

Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. v. 5
Nowadays, people have become more organised and systematic and they like to plan their leisure time activities before execution. Some people argue that planning is vital for the successful implementation of any activity. Others claim that unplanned activities are full of excitements and surprises that are very difficult to achieve by planned work. I believe that proper planning plays a pivotal role in the completion of an activity within budget and resources. Firstly, investing in leisure time demands careful planning of resources and timelines. Most of the people plan occasionally because of inflation and exorbitant prices of goods and travelling. In addition to this one can enjoy and explore more by planning. For example, during my college studies, I planned to visit hill stations with my college mated. Being as students we had minimal funds available for the tour. But with excellent planning, we end up our tour with full of joy and happiness. However, unplanned free time activities also have a charm in it. Youngsters are more prevalent in exercising such activities because of its daring and adventurous nature. For instance, adults in my city start their journey on the highway without knowing their destination that followed by a decision made on run time which adds plenty of fun and surprise to their trip. To sum up, I would like to say that planning is mandatory for achieving required results. Therefore, a large number of people plan and act accordingly to get the maximum pleasure. However, sometimes unplanned activities also provide you life-changing experiences.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more
Possible spelling mistake. 'organised' is British English.
organised
and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
systematic and
they like to plan their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
execution.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is vital for the successful implementation of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Others claim that unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are full of excitements and surprises that are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to achieve by planned work. I believe that proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
plays a pivotal role in the completion of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
within budget and resources.

Firstly
, investing in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
demands careful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
of resources and timelines. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
plan
occasionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inflation and exorbitant prices of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and travelling.
In addition
to this one can enjoy and explore more by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
.
For example
, during my college studies, I planned to visit hill stations with my college mated. Being as students we had minimal funds available for the tour.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up our tour with full of joy and happiness.

However
, unplanned free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
have a charm in it. Youngsters are more prevalent in exercising such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its daring and adventurous nature.
For instance
, adults in my city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their journey on the highway without knowing their destination that followed by a decision made on run
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of fun and surprise to their trip.

To sum up, I would like to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is mandatory for achieving required results.
Therefore
,
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
plan and act
accordingly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum pleasure.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
unplanned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
also
provide you life-changing experiences.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to plan activities for their free time very carefully. Others choose not to make any plans at all for their free time. Compare the benefits of planning free-time activities with the benefits of not making plans. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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