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The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 5
It is believed that the natural environment is destroyed by the growth of product consumption. In my opinion, one of the reasons is the increasing demand for people consumption lead to escalate industrial waste amounts emit into the atmosphere. This problem results from the substantial number of causes to which several solutions will be proposed in this essay. On the one hand, the world’s population is increasing day by day, so the amounts of consuming goods for people's needs are grown, which is one of reason for pollution. To begin with, there are a significant number of shipping vehicles and factories which using fossil fuels such as oil, gas and charcoal for the manufacturing process that causes the escalate amounts carbon into the air. There is a sheer volume of carbon is produced everyday lead to the greenhouse effects and destroy the ozone layers which cause the global warming and the severity of climate change. On the other hand, there are some solutions that can be implemented by residents to improve the natural environment. Initially, the manufactory and the people should gradually use the renewable energy since it is really environmentally friendly and does not effect on the atmosphere and reduce reliance on the fossil fuels. Besides, people should moderate consumption to not waste is also a way to protect the environment such as in some European countries. For instance, when they go to the supermarket to buy goods, they may bring the tote bag to prevent using the plastic bag. To conclude, the government and people need to join a hand in manufacturing process more environmentally friendly. Having awareness of the environment will bring a healthier, cleaner and convenient accommodation for residents.
It
is believed
that the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by the growth of product consumption. In my opinion, one of the reasons is the increasing demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consumption lead to escalate industrial waste amounts emit into the atmosphere. This problem results from the substantial number of causes to which several solutions will
be proposed
in this essay.

On the one hand, the world’s population is increasing day by day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the amounts of consuming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's needs
are grown
, which is one of reason for pollution. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are a significant number of shipping vehicles and factories which using fossil fuels such as oil, gas and charcoal for the manufacturing process that causes
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'escalate' is correct. If 'escalate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the escalate
amounts carbon into the air. There is a sheer volume of carbon
is produced
everyday lead to the greenhouse effects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the ozone layers which cause the global warming and the severity of climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions that can
be implemented
by residents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Initially
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
manufactory
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
gradually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the renewable energy since it is
really
environmentally
friendly and does not
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
on the atmosphere and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
reliance on the fossil fuels.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should moderate consumption to not waste is
also
a way to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
such as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
European countries.
For instance
, when they go to the supermarket to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, they may bring the tote bag to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
using the plastic bag.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a hand in manufacturing process more
environmentally
friendly. Having awareness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
will bring a healthier, cleaner and convenient accommodation for residents.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
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Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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