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The increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence shown in the media

The increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence shown in the media RNR6G
Juvenile delinquency is the participation by a minor child, usually between the ages of ten and seventeen, in illegal behaviour or activities (Dictionary, 2015). This is also use to refer to children who show a frequent mischievous or disobedient conduct, so as to be deemed out of parental conduct, being subject to legal action by the court. Juvenile crime has received considerable public attention in the recent decades. Most of the people think that the rising youth crime is caused by violent visions in the media. There are a number of reasons for the rise in juvenile crime. The media provides various types of questionable content, such as violent games and films, so teens prefer to mimic these violent scenes. The abominations and brutalities Studies have demonstrated to show that certain video games can change brain chemistry and affect children's development. After watching too much of these shows, young people can become hostile, leading to the resolution of all disputes through violent means, thus young adults want to commit crimes after watching such films. And also teenagers are being targeted by drug traffickers as drug trafficking has become rife. There is plenty of evidence to suggest that the human brain is vulnerable to negative influences from drugs, which makes young people want to commit crimes after they are high. Many facts show that mass media emphasis on violent and sensational crimes and therefore this lead to increase juvenile delinquency. Media is one of the most important aspects in our lives with which we spend most of the time. If the content of the media is abuse, it would affect one’s behaviour and they would be upset or frustrated and as a result they might promote a crime to make them feel better and to decrease their depression level. One of the main reason why media is responsible for this is because nowadays teens are highly influenced by the media. Since heroes are often shown to be violent and rewarded for their conduct, they have become role models of teenagers. Therefore, if his/her main role model act in a criminal movie, they would have been negatively affected and might commit a crime. In order to overcome the massive increase in juvenile crime, parents should monitor their children continuously. Parents should be mindful that some form of films are not suitable for children and they should watch films which suit their age. Not only that, parents can use parental control mode on mobile phones and smart TV. More over law enforcement agencies should take actions to control drug suppliers to avoid interaction with youths and more sever punishments should be given to drug related offences, drug dealers and drug consumers. Also Teenagers should not be exposed to violence unnecessarily. It is also important to advice and inform young adults on the effects of their behaviours. From early childhood parents should ensure that their children meet people of their age and know how to behave in the society (Researcharticles, 2018). Recent studies have shown that the levels of mental health problems among juveniles are significantly higher than those of non-criminals (Young, et al. , 2017). Engaging young offenders in education and knowledge-based training is an essential factor of productive recovery. In conclusion, there are many reasons for juvenile crime known up to now, and out of all media is the most debatable one. Young people are the future of our country so it is everyone’s responsibility to guide them to the correct path.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Juvenile
delinquency is the participation by a minor child,
usually
between the ages of ten and seventeen, in illegal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
or activities (Dictionary, 2015). This is
also
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
refer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
a frequent mischievous or disobedient conduct,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be deemed
out of parental conduct, being subject to legal action by the court.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
has received considerable public attention in the recent decades. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the rising youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is caused
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
visions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. There are a number of reasons for the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
crime.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
provides various types of questionable content, such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
games and films,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
teens prefer to mimic these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
scenes. The abominations and brutalities Studies have demonstrated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
that certain video games can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
brain chemistry and affect children's development. After watching too much of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become hostile, leading to the resolution of all disputes through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
means,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults want to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after watching such films. And
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are
being targeted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
traffickers as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking has become rife. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of evidence to suggest that the human brain is vulnerable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
after they are high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
facts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
that mass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
emphasis on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
and sensational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
therefore
this lead to increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
delinquency.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Media
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with which we spend most of the time. If the content of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is abuse, it would affect one’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behaviour and
they would
be upset
or frustrated and
as a result
they might promote a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel better and to decrease their depression level. One of the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is responsible for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays teens are
highly
influenced by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. Since heroes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
shown to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
and rewarded for their conduct, they have become role models of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
Therefore
, if his/her main role model act in a criminal movie, they would have been
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and might commit a crime.

In order to overcome the massive increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should monitor their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
continuously
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should be mindful that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
form of films are not suitable for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
children and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films which suit their age. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
parental control mode on mobile phones and smart TV. More over law enforcement agencies should take actions to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
suppliers to avoid interaction with youths and more sever punishments should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
related
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
dealers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
consumers.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
should not
be exposed
to violence
unnecessarily
. It is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to advice and inform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults on the effects of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
. From early childhood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should ensure that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their age and know how to behave in the society (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Researcharticles
, 2018). Recent studies have shown that the levels of mental health problems among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juveniles
are
significantly
higher than those of non-criminals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(Young
, et al.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
2017). Engaging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
offenders in education and knowledge-based training is an essential factor of productive recovery.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
juvenile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
known up to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and out of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is the most debatable one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the future of our country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is everyone’s responsibility to guide them to the correct path.
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IELTS essay The increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence shown in the media

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
580 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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