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The increase in food production owns much to fertilizers and machinery, but somebody think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The increase in food production owns much to fertilizers and machinery, but somebody think that it has a negative impact on human health and community. daXr
Many people would accept that the growth of the food industry leads to the overuse of pesticides and machines. From my perspective, I totally consent to the argument that these things could exert an adverse influence on individuals and society. It is undeniable that extreme use of inorganic fertilizers could pose a serious threat to human health. Firstly, excessive use of chemical fertilizers results in a high proportion of pollutants in food which causes disturbance to different parts of the human body. It is scientifically proved that some hazardous chemicals in food could not be eliminated even when being highly processed. Another point is that these synthetic fertilizers also exacerbate environmental issues. Intensive use of pesticides could remove nutrients from the soil, damaging the soil and therefore cause erosion. Besides, nearby waterways are possibly contaminated by the toxic emissions which eventually degrade the quality of the water supply system. The second point to make is that the community also faces detrimental problems due to the abusive use of the machine. This action emits a great amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which contributes to the depletion of the ozone layer. As a result, increased UV radiation levels at the earth’s surface could damage human health. Furthermore, it can also be seen in most companies that employees are replaced with better machinery which could increase the unemployment rate in society. Along with the obvious loss of income, workers may suffer from severe mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. To recap, due to the aforementioned reasons, I firmly believe that the rise in using fertilizers and machinery in food production could have a grave impact on both individuals and society.
Many
people
would accept that the growth of the
food
industry leads to the overuse of pesticides and machines. From my perspective, I
totally
consent to the argument that these things could exert an adverse influence on individuals and society.

It is undeniable that extreme
use
of inorganic
fertilizers
could pose a serious threat to human health.
Firstly
, excessive
use
of chemical
fertilizers
results in a high proportion of pollutants in
food
which causes disturbance to
different
parts of the human body. It is
scientifically
proved that
some
hazardous chemicals in
food
could not
be eliminated
even when being
highly
processed. Another point is that these synthetic
fertilizers
also
exacerbate environmental issues. Intensive
use
of pesticides could remove nutrients from the soil, damaging the soil and
therefore
cause erosion.
Besides
, nearby waterways are
possibly
contaminated by the toxic emissions which
eventually
degrade the quality of the water supply system.

The second point to
make
is that the community
also
faces detrimental problems due to the abusive
use
of the machine. This action emits a great amount of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere which contributes to the depletion of the ozone layer.
As a result
, increased UV radiation levels at the earth’s surface could damage human health.
Furthermore
, it can
also
be
seen
in most
companies
that employees
are replaced
with better machinery which could increase the unemployment rate in society. Along with the obvious loss of income, workers may suffer from severe mental health issues such as depression or anxiety.

To recap, due to the aforementioned reasons, I
firmly
believe that the rise in using
fertilizers
and machinery in
food
production could have a grave impact on both individuals and society.
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IELTS essay The increase in food production owns much to fertilizers and machinery, but somebody think that it has a negative impact on human health and community.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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