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It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain same. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain same. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages? 59RP
Undoubtedly, change is pivotal for an individual to sustain with the pace of development of humankind. It is widely believed by scholars all over the globe that alteration can have immense benefits and resisting to change can be hazardous for population. On the face of it, the merits of transformation for people seem most apparent. However, could there be a downside to this thought as well? To begin with, various arguments can make upsides of adapting to changes evident. The vitally significant justification is from social perspective. Since when a person renovates himself consequently it will also effect people in his vicinity which could be constructive for the evolution of society. Another point of paramount effectiveness is that learning new things can polish an individual's character which can have plethora of fringe benefits. This can be best illustrated by the example of a survey that has been conducted by Times Now magazine which shows that 80% of corporations demand for personnel who is adaptable to changes over adamant individual. On the other hand, change can be very boring as no one wants to leave their comfort zone and upgrade himself. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that it is clear from above mentioned analysis that change can have immense benefits for one's own growth rather than avoiding it and remain consistent and bull-headed.
Undoubtedly
,
change
is pivotal for an individual to sustain with the pace of development of humankind. It is
widely
believed by scholars all over the globe that alteration can have immense benefits and resisting to
change
can be hazardous for population. On the face of it, the merits of transformation for
people
seem most apparent.
However
, could there be a downside to this
thought
as well
? To
begin
with, various arguments can
make
upsides of adapting to
changes
evident. The
vitally
significant justification is from social perspective. Since when a person renovates himself
consequently
it will
also
effect
people
in his vicinity which could be constructive for the evolution of society. Another point of paramount effectiveness is that learning new things can polish an individual's character which can have plethora of fringe benefits. This can be best illustrated by the example of a survey that has
been conducted
by Times
Now
magazine which
shows
that 80% of corporations demand for personnel who is adaptable to
changes
over adamant individual.
On the other hand
,
change
can be
very
boring as no one wants to
leave
their comfort zone and upgrade himself. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that it is
clear
from above mentioned analysis that
change
can have immense benefits for one's
own
growth
rather
than avoiding it and remain consistent and bull-headed.
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IELTS essay It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain same. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
227 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 6.0
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