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It is fair that sports professionals earn much more money than people in other important professions? Give reasons for both sides of the argument and your opinion.

It is fair that sports professionals earn much more money than people in other important professions? Give reasons for both sides of the argument and your opinion. aQY1w
However, despite the compensation for that sport professional is worth it, a number of other disciplines have more arduous that do not get paid worthy. For example, the nurses, the person who work next to the doctor, paying attention and spending their time with the job, yet what they get return is not proportional to their endeavor. More than that, numerous people because of their responsibility to their job, working late at night or even harmful for the health but their earnings are modest. Therefore, the economic rewards people need to be more equal, not just based on their affection, having based on the effort they put in.
However
, despite the compensation for that sport professional is worth it, a number of other disciplines have more arduous that do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
paid worthy.
For example
, the nurses, the person who work
next
to the doctor, paying attention and spending their time with the job,
yet
what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
return is not proportional to their endeavor. More than that, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their responsibility to their job, working late at night or even harmful for the health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their earnings are modest.
Therefore
, the economic rewards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
need to be more equal, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
based on their affection, having based on the effort they put in.

IELTS essay It is fair that sports professionals earn much more money than people in other important professions? Give reasons for both sides of the argument and your opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
108 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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