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The image of the elderly who are still working at retirement age is not

The image of the elderly who are still working at retirement age is not 9w2nx
The image of the elderly who are still working at retirement age is not spared in some nations, especially those with aging populations such as Japan and Germany. This situation has caused many obvious drawbacks for today's young adults in terms of employment meanwhile, it has also brought benefits to some workplaces. I think the negative impacts outweigh the positive ones in this circumstance. On the one hand, the youth’s occupations are being threatened by the rework of the retirees. Not only because of the population which has reduced jobs opportunity but also some companies tend to employ workers with experiences more than newcomers. As a result, there is a lack of places and positions for the graduates and youngsters who should get a job in their youthful period. Moreover, retired people are believed to be decreased in strength which is inappropriate to do labor or heavy works. Consequently, it is hard for some workplaces to guarantee their employee’s health if there are any illnesses or accidents that highly occur in the old. However, the important contribution of the seniors is undeniable. They have a high range of knowledge and skills after spending parts of their lives in those jobs which is hard to find in young adults. When older people do heavy physical work, their age may affect their productivity. But other skills may increase with age, including many that are crucial for goods management, such as an ability to handle people diplomatically, to run a meeting, or to spot a problem before it blows up. In conclusion, although the elderly hard workers have made significant contributions, at some point they need to leave this responsibility to the next generations.
The image of the elderly who are
still
working at retirement age is not spared in
some
nations,
especially
those with aging populations such as Japan and Germany. This situation has caused
many
obvious drawbacks for
today
's young adults in terms of employment meanwhile, it has
also
brought benefits to
some
workplaces. I
think
the
negative
impacts outweigh the
positive
ones in this circumstance.

On the one hand, the youth’s occupations are
being threatened
by the rework of the retirees. Not
only
because
of the population which has
reduced
jobs opportunity
but
also
some
companies
tend to employ workers with experiences more than newcomers.
As a result
, there is a lack of places and positions for the graduates and youngsters who should
get
a job in their youthful period.
Moreover
, retired
people
are believed
to
be decreased
in strength which is inappropriate to do labor or heavy works.
Consequently
, it is
hard
for
some
workplaces to guarantee their employee’s health if there are any illnesses or accidents that
highly
occur in the
old
.
However
, the
important
contribution of the seniors is undeniable. They have a high range of knowledge and
skills
after spending parts of their
lives
in those jobs which is
hard
to find in young adults. When older
people
do heavy physical work, their age may affect their productivity.
But
other
skills
may increase with age, including
many
that are crucial for
goods
management, such as an ability to handle
people
diplomatically
, to run a meeting, or to spot a problem
before
it blows up.
In conclusion
, although the elderly
hard
workers have made significant contributions, at
some
point they need to
leave
this responsibility to the
next
generations.
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IELTS essay The image of the elderly who are still working at retirement age is not

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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