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How do you spend your leisure time

How do you spend your leisure time Ew0nR
In my spare time I used to do many activities. Most of these activities with my family and friends. The first one of these activities, I hike with my son about 50 minutes daily. Hiking is best for me to build health body and mind. Accompanying my child is also, to train his from his youngest age how practice hobby that make him healthy and active. Secondly, I watch Television and follow up the world news. The best channel for watching is BBC English news and documentary. watching TV keeping me updated with all incidences and events worldwide. In summary I like to spend my leisure time in walking with family and listening and watching world news and documentary in television.
In my spare time I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities. Most of these activities with my family and friends.

The
first
one of these activities, I hike with my son about 50 minutes daily. Hiking is best for me to build health body and mind. Accompanying my child is
also
, to train his from his youngest age how practice hobby that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him healthy and active.

Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Television and follow up the world news. The best channel for watching is BBC English news and documentary.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
watching
TV keeping me updated with all incidences and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
worldwide.

In summary I like to spend my leisure time in walking with family and listening and watching world news and documentary in television.
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IELTS essay How do you spend your leisure time

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
121 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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