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The illustrations show two stages in the development of the mobile phone. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The below image shows how the mobile phone has evolved from its early design towards a modern looking phone. And it is clearly visible that how the modern day mobile has more updated features list to that of the traditional mobile phones. First on the build of the phone, the old phones used to be bigger in all aspects with the dimensions of 130 mm length, 50 mm in width and weighing around 150g and there is long antenna up on the top and ear phone is quite big too. Despite having all the features of the conventional mobile phone the newer generation phone has a much more smaller footprint and a refreshing design. In comparison with the old phones the length and width of phones is less by 40 mm and 10 mm respectively with the weights reduced by more than half. On the features front the earlier version of the phone has only the basic features such as an black and white display, a keyboard, and a funtion key for navigating. On the other hand the newer generations has a full colour display, camera with ability to record video and also provides extra functions that enable to access e-mails and internet along with a music player and multiplayer gaming support. From this it is quite evident the mobile phone technology has developed a lot from its predecessor.
The below image
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has evolved from its early design towards a modern looking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. And it is
clearly
visible that how the modern day mobile has more updated features list to that of the traditional mobile phones.

First
on the build of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be bigger in all aspects with the dimensions of 130 mm length, 50 mm in width and weighing around 150g and there is long antenna up on the top and ear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
too. Despite having all the features of the conventional mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
the newer generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has a much
Use only “smaller” (without ‘more’) when you use the comparative.
more smaller
footprint and a refreshing design.
In comparison
with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
the length and width of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is less by 40 mm and 10 mm
respectively
with the weights
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by more than half.

On the features front the earlier version of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the basic features such as
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
black and white display, a keyboard, and a
Possible spelling mistake found.
funtion
key for navigating.

On the other hand
the newer generations has a full
Possible spelling mistake. ‘colour’ is British English.
colour
display, camera with ability to record video and
also
provides extra functions that enable to access e-mails and internet along with a music player and multiplayer gaming support.

From this it is quite evident the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
technology has developed a lot from its predecessor.
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IELTS essay The illustrations show two stages in the development of the mobile phone.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
229 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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